tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16166950.post112741533096387996..comments2024-01-23T18:21:17.066+00:00Comments on Surroundings: A PoemRobhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17046788730174617923noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16166950.post-1127730179633945662005-09-26T11:22:00.000+01:002005-09-26T11:22:00.000+01:00Thanks Harry and ShugI'll give some thought to the...Thanks Harry and Shug<BR/><BR/>I'll give some thought to the first image. "And snow" is a little awkward. A verb might be better (to keep the terameter, I need something). "...and bloom" maybe.<BR/><BR/>Interesting experience at Les Murray, Shug. I might comment later.Robhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17046788730174617923noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16166950.post-1127472495770804942005-09-23T11:48:00.000+01:002005-09-23T11:48:00.000+01:00I like the pace of this. Not sure about the first ...I like the pace of this. Not sure about the first image, though: would a heavy sack 'drag on' anything? And what does 'hours drag on shadows' mean anyway? Second Stanza is very good. Do you need 'and snow'? 'Who see a rose rise from the earth/and beat it down with bricks'?<BR/><BR/>Had a poetry crisis during a Les Murray reading. My blogg has details.Hugh McMillanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05353561780315527799noreply@blogger.com