I am a poet. But any subject is fair game here.
I'm not quite sure where to place this - at first I'm thinking middle-east then the beehives make me think '50's (or is it '60's) america. I'm also a bit confused about the fact that one minute I'm in a main street salon then suddenly I'm in a garden with swings etc. Just a bit confused but that's not unusual for me, hope this is at all helpful!
sorlilI think you're right that the switching of scenes doesn't work. The lack of specificity of place and time was a deliberate strategy - a juxtaposition of the familiar and strange creating a slightly surreal aymosphere. I'll have to think about whether that works too.Thanks for the feedback.
I really liked this Rob: there's a surreal atmosphere to the piece which is bolstered by the economy of sentiment employed within the poem. It's refreshingly objective, I think, but at the same time reveals undertones of individual concerns and emotions. Cheers for posting it up.Oh, and I recently got my contributor's copy of the Red Wheelbarrow issue 14 through; must say I enjoyed 'Sea Story' and its unusual use of form.
Thanks Ben. 'Sea Story' was an experiment for me, so I'm glad you liked it. I enjoyed your 'SOS' too in issue 14.
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