Thursday, September 22, 2005

A Poem

Sorry. I 've deleted this poem while it's under consideration by a magazine.


Harry said...

Fab! I'm bullish on quatrains at the moment. And tetrameter.

shug said...

I like the pace of this. Not sure about the first image, though: would a heavy sack 'drag on' anything? And what does 'hours drag on shadows' mean anyway? Second Stanza is very good. Do you need 'and snow'? 'Who see a rose rise from the earth/and beat it down with bricks'?

Had a poetry crisis during a Les Murray reading. My blogg has details.

Rob Mackenzie said...

Thanks Harry and Shug

I'll give some thought to the first image. "And snow" is a little awkward. A verb might be better (to keep the terameter, I need something). "...and bloom" maybe.

Interesting experience at Les Murray, Shug. I might comment later.