I notice I haven't blogged since last Saturday and this is supposed to be a poetry blog, not an X Factor one, but I have been busy reading submissions for Magma 53 and and things like that. Back tonight though for the live X Factor semi-final, which I'll update as usual as the show progresses. We are minus Janet Devlin this week, as expected. It was getting clear that Janet wasn't interested in the songs she was being asked to sing. Her outburst after her elimination that the show had turned her into a 'karaoke singer' is fair enough. I suppose she ought to have known this would happen before applying, mind you, but on the other hand, she is only 16 and may have thought the show was actually about talent. And, indeed, that they would recognise her talent and allow her to put more of a personal stamp on her material, play guitar, maybe even try one of her own songs. However, the show is not about talent (I saw a gospel choir the other week and several of them had as much vocal talent as any of the current X Factor finalists). For the show's producers, it surely has to be mainly about viewer ratings and money. For the audience, it's all about family entertainment on a Saturday night. Talent may be a by-product now and again. But good luck to Janet, easily the most 'talented' of the finalists. Let's see if she can recast herself as herself again. Last week, Kelly recommended she sing some Cranberries songs. No, Janet. That would be such a bad idea, although I reckon you'll know that anyway. Don't be a Dolores version II, as even version I was no great shakes. You could do better if you set your mind to it.
So to this week. Show just about to start...
It’s Motown night. First tonight is Misha B. The judges keep putting her through, but people don’t seem to like her. So she’s gone to a children’s hospice this week. Do you see the psychology behind that? Thought so! She may be genuine, but the marketing behind her is transparent. Imagine a world without music, she says. Uh... yes, let’s do that. OK, done that? Let’s move on now. She’s whooping and clucking through ‘Dancing in the Street’, rather forced I think. Trying too hard to be ‘Misha B’ the way she’s been asked to by the judges over the last couple of weeks. Yellow and black suited dancers, like Partick Thistle on an cloudy day at East Fife. The judges love it. I thought it was bland. I’ll give that 5, wife says 7, daughter says 8.
'Ain’t No Mountain High Enough', from Amelia Lily. Tartan dancers this time. Who makes those decisions? Is it because we have high mountains here in Scotland, at least in British terms. The difficulty tonight is that Motown songs are well known and also 40-50 years old, so freshening them up isn’t easy. Amelia has gone for the big sound. But I’m not that interested. She sang it well, but I don’t know. I’ll give her 6, wife went off somewhere and missed it, and daughter says 9.
Now it’s Little Mix. They will have fun with Motown surely. Fun! That’s what I need at this point of the show. They went to a movie premiere and saw Charles and Camilla this week – that’s what it’s all about girls! Not... They’re doing the Supremes, ‘You Just Keep Me Hanging On’, and I’m actually enjoying this more than the other performances. There’s an energy...oh, one of them forgot the words. Criminal, of course in the X Factor. Louis didn’t like it much. He is a plonker. Gary and Louis want one of them to be the focal lead singer. Tulisa disagrees and wants all of them to take their turn. Kelly says there’s always a lead singer in a group. Don’t be different, girls! Be the same as everyone else! And then whenever Louis calls anyone ‘original’, wonder about that just a bit. I’ll say 7, wife says 7, daughter says 9.
Marcus really ought to have an advantage this week, given that he’s a soul man and this is Motown. He’s doing ‘My Girl’. He’s smiling a lot. Almost as much as Marti Pellow from Wet Wet wet used to do. That always used to annoy me for some reason. Too much smiling makes me distrust people e.g. Tony Blair. A good scowl does the trick every time. Marcus kind of strolled through that song. Very safe choice. The judges liked it. Smooth. I’ll give that 7 as well. Wife says 9, daughter says 9.
Round 2. Misha B is going to have to pull something out of the bag now if she’s to survive, I think. She is sitting on her own personal smoke bomb. She’s ballading now. And this is certainly better. Towards the end it’s getting a bit histrionic, but I liked the first half. Louis says she stands out from the crowd. Depends who is in the crowd. Gary says she was previously wrongfully accused of being a bully and she won’t win because of that, not because she isn’t good enough. He might be right. But it’s also because she somehow doesn’t always connect with her material (and therefore with audience). She did there though. I’ll say 6. Wife says 8, daughter says 8.
Amelia says ‘I want this so much’ like so many X Factor hopefuls before her, and indeed she has used that phrase on several shows herself. As though, if she wants something enough, it might come true. She is power ballading. It’s so not my kind of music. But I think she is really singing this well. From quiet to loud, intense to explosive, precision. Tulisa says it’s one of her favourite songs of all time, which shows what a very strange and different planet she lives on. Gary says her shouty voice is great but her soft voice isn’t quite there, which I think is complete nonsense. Perhaps a bit of politicking? Anyway, I’ll give her 8. Wife says 9, daughter says 9.
Gary wants Marcus in the final because it would change his life. But it would change anyone's life, so no argument there. It’s ‘Can You Feel it’? Hmmmm, not really. Don't feel much, maybe a faint pinprick on my left ankle. Sounds a bit dodgy, and the sound balance might be a wee bit off, or maybe it's the wrong key for Marcus. but he seems to have settled down. Took him about 30 seconds to get going but he’s doing OK now. The judges all agree this wasn’t one of his best performances. They said it was the wrong song. I don’t know, I think he didn’t sing it all that well. I’ll say 6. Wife says 8. Daughter says 8.
Finally, it’s Little Mix. Wonder why they were third in the first half and last in the second half? SyCo TV are trying to disorientate us, like being in the center of Bucharest after lights out. The first girl singing here looks a bit drunk, although I’m sure she’s not. Something about the way she was swaying with a detached look on her face, like she was having a sudden out of body experience. It’s a Beyonce song. And another decent performance. Gary says the vocals weren’t good enough. I think he’s trying to erode their vote, so that his act, Marcus, can win. Mainly I think that because I didn’t hear anything wrong with the vocals. I’ll give them 7, wife says 9, daughter says 8.
Ok, I think Misha B will be leaving us tomorrow after a sing-off with Amelia (if there is a sing-off in the semi-final? Can't remember). As for the final, that's anyone's guess. There is no obvious winner this year, which does make it a little more exciting than normal, but the lack of a real stand-out also raises the suspicion that...well...no one is a stand out. Except, every now and then, Janet who is no longer with us.
Showing posts with label X Factor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label X Factor. Show all posts
Saturday, December 03, 2011
Saturday, November 26, 2011
X Factor 2011 - Week 8: Live Blog
I am back with the live X Factor blog this week after missing out on week 7. This week, everyone has to sing two songs, which means I will keep my comments as succinct as possible. As ever, I will update as the programme progesses. Four minutes to go...
Little Mix are up first. The theme of part 1 is ‘guilty pleasures’ – songs you’re not supposed to like but do. They’re doing Justin Bieber with a sprinkling of Diana Ross. I thought that was pretty boring. Awful Bieber song. One you're not supposed to like because it's ...well... so overwhelmingly unlikeable. Nothing cute about it. Gary liked it. Louis says we need some ‘girl power’. Little Mix is all about ‘having fun’ says one of the band. Well, that wasn’t much fun... I’ll give that 5. Daughter says 8.
Janet is next. She sounded as if she was auditioning to be a Cranberries vocalist last week. This week it sounds cheesy, which is the idea, I guess, but somehow lifeless as well, and she forgot her words. She’s really lost the fragile intensity of her first audition completely. Ooh bop dibbeedap a doo bop. Along with Janet, that’s about all I can say. Gary says it’s a “real mess”. There’s always a second song, says Kelly. Oh dear. I’ll say 4. Daughter says 8. Daughter keeps faith no matter what!
Here comes Misha B. Can she bring some class to the show. She’s doing ‘Girls Just Want to Have Fun’. Don’t think her voice really suits the song - almost too powerful. She can rap though! That ought to bring in a few teenage votes. It’s got better towards the end. “Now the show has started,” says Gary. So much better than the first two. I’ll say 7. Daughter says 7 as well.
Apparently Marcus is doing a Wham song. He is the best performer left in the competition, I think. Odd white-suited people writhing away behind him – a bit unnerving. “If you’re going to do it, do it right (do it with me).” I’m your man, says Marcus, and he is really. The dancers are annoying and unnecessary. Marcus could carry this by himself, no problem. I do wonder, mind you, how boring a Marcus album would be. He’s a fun performer though. I’ll give him 7. Daughter says 9.
Finally Amelia is up. She says she was disappointed by her performance last week of Aretha Franklin’s ‘Freedom’ (or whatever it’s called) which left her in the bottom two. I thought it was pretty good. Maybe it wasn’t a big crowd-pleaser and Tulisa had somehow never heard it before (Aretha! Tulisa). Tonight it’s T’Pau’s ‘China in Your Hands’, which I hated at the time and it doesn’t sound any better now. But Amelia can sing and she’s giving us those huge-voice licks tonight. Tulisa says she loves Amelia’s passion and that her face (when she sings) looks as if it’s in a music video – what a weird comment! Gary says he’s glad to hear the song sung in tune – a barb at the original. Ha ha. Dermot gasps slightly. OK, I’ll say 7. Daughter says 10.
It’s round two, and they’re singing songs by their heroes. Little Mix say their hero is Christine Aguilera. Well, I suppose someone in the world must feel that way. Doesn’t make it any less astonishing when it actually happens though. Must be ’Beautiful’, I suppose. And yes, it is. Started well – very moving. But now they’ve lost it – going for vocal histrionics rather than sheer intensity. But they do clearly mean it. Louis again says we need ‘girl power’. No, we don’t, because the phrase means nothing whatsoever. Apparently they’ve had a bad time with the press slagging them off because they don’t look like models. The same papers who run shock reports on size zero models being a bad example for young women etc. Hypocrite journalists, as ever! I’ll give that 6. Daughter says 9.
Now, can Janet rescue her evening after her initial disaster? Well, this is certainly better, but it’s not that good. She sounds like she means this song just as much as it was obvious she couldn’t have cared less about the earlier one. It’s Red Hot Chilli Peppers. Mind you, she’s never been in the bottom two and must have a large fanbase. That might save her yet even though the judges seem to have decided to put the pressure on. I was bored again, to be honest. I’ll give her 5. Daughter says 6.
Misha B again. Her dress looks like it’s made been made from strips of black gaffa tape arranged in a random collage. It’s Killing Me Softly (with his Song), the dance version. This is good, I reckon. I’d go as far as to say I’m genuinely enjoying this performance. Real quality. Louis says ‘consistent’, but I thought it was better than that. I’ll say 8. Daughter says 9.
Marcus is doing Stevie Wonder. That’s no surprise. I hope it’s good SW as opposed to later boring SW. Ah yes, this is how I like Marcus. Drop the silly dance routines please and let Marcus sing. He is a soul man. He’s getting real feeling into this. Great performance, which did Stevie proud. I think Marcus has pulled ahead of the pack this week. Gary says people know him as the entertainer but now as the voice. I much prefer the voice side of Marcus... I’ll say 9 as well. Daughter says 10.
Finally, Amelia returns. Oh dear... Amelia’s hero is Kelly Clarkson. She is only 17. I suppose she will find better heroes given a bit of time. She has a rare quality of seeming very nice and humble and yet also incredibly driven. The pink trousers don’t suit her. Not that they would suit me either. At least she had the courage to wear them. It’s huge-voice territory again and she does this as well as anyone - soft MOR rock this time, as opposed to power ballad. It’s definitely not my kind of thing. In fact, I can't stand it. But she can sing it. Not much to say here. I‘ll give her 7. Daughter says 10.
Who is in and who is out? Janet should be out. But... she must have people voting for her in large numbers not to have been in the bottom two ever, even after some dodgy performances before tonight. I think Marcus and Little Mix will get through. Misha B and Amelia, despite doing very well tonight, have both been in the bottom two before and can't be counted as safe.
Little Mix are up first. The theme of part 1 is ‘guilty pleasures’ – songs you’re not supposed to like but do. They’re doing Justin Bieber with a sprinkling of Diana Ross. I thought that was pretty boring. Awful Bieber song. One you're not supposed to like because it's ...well... so overwhelmingly unlikeable. Nothing cute about it. Gary liked it. Louis says we need some ‘girl power’. Little Mix is all about ‘having fun’ says one of the band. Well, that wasn’t much fun... I’ll give that 5. Daughter says 8.
Janet is next. She sounded as if she was auditioning to be a Cranberries vocalist last week. This week it sounds cheesy, which is the idea, I guess, but somehow lifeless as well, and she forgot her words. She’s really lost the fragile intensity of her first audition completely. Ooh bop dibbeedap a doo bop. Along with Janet, that’s about all I can say. Gary says it’s a “real mess”. There’s always a second song, says Kelly. Oh dear. I’ll say 4. Daughter says 8. Daughter keeps faith no matter what!
Here comes Misha B. Can she bring some class to the show. She’s doing ‘Girls Just Want to Have Fun’. Don’t think her voice really suits the song - almost too powerful. She can rap though! That ought to bring in a few teenage votes. It’s got better towards the end. “Now the show has started,” says Gary. So much better than the first two. I’ll say 7. Daughter says 7 as well.
Apparently Marcus is doing a Wham song. He is the best performer left in the competition, I think. Odd white-suited people writhing away behind him – a bit unnerving. “If you’re going to do it, do it right (do it with me).” I’m your man, says Marcus, and he is really. The dancers are annoying and unnecessary. Marcus could carry this by himself, no problem. I do wonder, mind you, how boring a Marcus album would be. He’s a fun performer though. I’ll give him 7. Daughter says 9.
Finally Amelia is up. She says she was disappointed by her performance last week of Aretha Franklin’s ‘Freedom’ (or whatever it’s called) which left her in the bottom two. I thought it was pretty good. Maybe it wasn’t a big crowd-pleaser and Tulisa had somehow never heard it before (Aretha! Tulisa). Tonight it’s T’Pau’s ‘China in Your Hands’, which I hated at the time and it doesn’t sound any better now. But Amelia can sing and she’s giving us those huge-voice licks tonight. Tulisa says she loves Amelia’s passion and that her face (when she sings) looks as if it’s in a music video – what a weird comment! Gary says he’s glad to hear the song sung in tune – a barb at the original. Ha ha. Dermot gasps slightly. OK, I’ll say 7. Daughter says 10.
It’s round two, and they’re singing songs by their heroes. Little Mix say their hero is Christine Aguilera. Well, I suppose someone in the world must feel that way. Doesn’t make it any less astonishing when it actually happens though. Must be ’Beautiful’, I suppose. And yes, it is. Started well – very moving. But now they’ve lost it – going for vocal histrionics rather than sheer intensity. But they do clearly mean it. Louis again says we need ‘girl power’. No, we don’t, because the phrase means nothing whatsoever. Apparently they’ve had a bad time with the press slagging them off because they don’t look like models. The same papers who run shock reports on size zero models being a bad example for young women etc. Hypocrite journalists, as ever! I’ll give that 6. Daughter says 9.
Now, can Janet rescue her evening after her initial disaster? Well, this is certainly better, but it’s not that good. She sounds like she means this song just as much as it was obvious she couldn’t have cared less about the earlier one. It’s Red Hot Chilli Peppers. Mind you, she’s never been in the bottom two and must have a large fanbase. That might save her yet even though the judges seem to have decided to put the pressure on. I was bored again, to be honest. I’ll give her 5. Daughter says 6.
Misha B again. Her dress looks like it’s made been made from strips of black gaffa tape arranged in a random collage. It’s Killing Me Softly (with his Song), the dance version. This is good, I reckon. I’d go as far as to say I’m genuinely enjoying this performance. Real quality. Louis says ‘consistent’, but I thought it was better than that. I’ll say 8. Daughter says 9.
Marcus is doing Stevie Wonder. That’s no surprise. I hope it’s good SW as opposed to later boring SW. Ah yes, this is how I like Marcus. Drop the silly dance routines please and let Marcus sing. He is a soul man. He’s getting real feeling into this. Great performance, which did Stevie proud. I think Marcus has pulled ahead of the pack this week. Gary says people know him as the entertainer but now as the voice. I much prefer the voice side of Marcus... I’ll say 9 as well. Daughter says 10.
Finally, Amelia returns. Oh dear... Amelia’s hero is Kelly Clarkson. She is only 17. I suppose she will find better heroes given a bit of time. She has a rare quality of seeming very nice and humble and yet also incredibly driven. The pink trousers don’t suit her. Not that they would suit me either. At least she had the courage to wear them. It’s huge-voice territory again and she does this as well as anyone - soft MOR rock this time, as opposed to power ballad. It’s definitely not my kind of thing. In fact, I can't stand it. But she can sing it. Not much to say here. I‘ll give her 7. Daughter says 10.
Who is in and who is out? Janet should be out. But... she must have people voting for her in large numbers not to have been in the bottom two ever, even after some dodgy performances before tonight. I think Marcus and Little Mix will get through. Misha B and Amelia, despite doing very well tonight, have both been in the bottom two before and can't be counted as safe.
Saturday, November 12, 2011
The X Factor - Week 6: Live Blog
I haven't bothered to do this up until now this year but I think it's about time I started this blog's X Factor round-up. As in previous years, I'll update it in live time as the show goes on. So if you can't be bothered to watch or indeed can't face it, then have no worries. With some acts, this blog will be better fun in any case.
It’s Queen and Lady Gaga week – help m’boab. No one can sing Queen and anyone can sing Gaga, so the Queen-mob are going to be at a disadvantage. But first they have to replace Frankie Cocozza, who is supposed to have broken the rules of the competition by taking cocaine. The tabloids have portrayed this as shocking and transgressive, but Frankie came over to me as a complete prat, about as ‘transgressive’ as Plastic Bertrand. How many people have taken cocaine? Millions probably. Join the back of the queue, Frankie. Bye.
First up is Kitty singing Queen. Kitty is another who thinks she is original and transgressive. She wanted to sing ‘Born this Way’ and is emotional about not getting to sing it – I’m rather glad, I must admit. It would have been an ego-fest of a song for her. She has a lion-mane on her head. What’s that about? Her vocal limitations are really being shown up by ‘Don’t Stop Me Now’. Terrible. Do stop her. Please! Tulisa likes it. So does Kelly. Maybe the volume of the live show has obscured how weak some of that was? I’d give that 3 out of 10. Wife says 7. Daughter says 7. They are in a generous mood!
Now it’s Craig, who wants to be “unique” and “have his own sound.” You’re on the wrong show, Craig. Maybe you should have joined a band and written some songs and played in grotty wee pubs for a few years to develop uniqueness. He’s doing Paparazzi. He’s singing it well enough as a ballad. But Lady G’s original had a degree of fun about it, which this entirely lacks. However, Craig at least seems like a nice guy and he is a good singer. The judges are all saying how great it was. It wasn't 'great' by any stretch of the imagination, but at least he tried to do it differently from the original. I’ll give that 8. Wife says 8. Daughter says 9.
It’s Little Mix now. They can at least sing in tune. However that doesn’t help them become any more than a-girl-next-door version of The Saturdays. Here they come, astonishingly with Radio Ga Ga!! No, they were fooling us, they’re doing Lady Gaga’s Telephone. That’s more like it! That’s what we expect and they’re doing it in exactly the way we expect. And they are doing it well. Louie loves everything about it. Kelly says the vocals were shaky at the beginning (and she is right, although they did get better). Gary says it was predictable, which is putting it mildly. Oddly, two of the girls who looked nothing like one another at the beginning of the series now seem to get more alike with every week. Spooky. I’ll say 6. Wife says 9. Daughter says 10. Crikey...
Now we have Janet. She started really well in the competition, but her first audition sounds far better to me than anything she’s done since. And they’ve styled her all wrong too. Ha... Kelly seems to have realised that and wants her to "go back to who she was" (and actually is). She’s singing a very strange version of Somebody to Love. It’s like they’ve taken a Queen song and Clannad-ed it or something! She is singing OK, but I don’t really like it. Louis loved it. Tulisa says she’d have to be in a certain kind of mood to listen to her. Gary says he’s bored. I’d have to be semi-comotose to appreciate that performance. A shame, as I genuinely like her. I’d say 6. Wife says 9 for her voice, as opposed to the arrangement. Daughter says 10 (she loves Janet).
Now it’s Markus. Now, Markus really is good. He has real soul, although we’ll see how long it takes for Cowell to knock that out of him. Sounds like Another One Bites the Dust crossed with Phil Collins singing Motown. Can you imagine? Who writes these arrangements? The song arranger should be locked away with bread and water for week. Markus is singing well, but really they all sing well at this stage. The arrangement is truly awful. Ugh... People in leather trousers are dancing weirdly in the background. Some tactical comments from the judges who want to elimintae the stronger acts so their own acts benefit. Naughty, but they're all at it. Oh, I’d give Markus 7 for his performance. Wife says 10 for his vocals. Daughter says 10.
Misha B is next. They gave her a nice hairstyle last week, very natural, and she looked all the better for it. Sometimes they’ve put a curious modernist sculpture on her head, which I’m told may have been made from her hair. I hope it’s the natural look tonight. It is. Good, as I’m sure it helps. She’s singing Born this Way and I’m sure she’ll make a better job of it than Kitty. The clattering drum sound is really annoying. What are the dancers? Glam traffic wardens with shiny pyjama bottoms? She sang it well though (yawn, as ever). All the judges loved it. I’d give her 8 for the performance. The arrangement isn’t her fault. Wife says 8. Daughter says 9.
Now we're going to find out who has been chosen to replace Frankie. It should be Amelia Lily, I think, as she should never have been put out in the first place. But I heard some tabloid rumour that it will be '2 Shoes'. God save us...
Here we go. Who has won the public vote to re-enter the competition? With 48% of the vote the winner is Amelia! Well, at least that’s justice. Now can she cement her place? She’s singing The Show Must Go On. She singing it on stage all by herself, no dancers in ridiculous costumes in sight. Perhaps they didn’t have time to rehearse an idiotic stage show with the ‘possibles’. And all the better for it. She is in the Leona Lewis mould. Not my kind of music, to put it mildly, but she sang it with passion and conviction. I’d give her 8. Wife says 9. Daughter says 10.
And that’s it for tonight. It's a fairly middling line-up, I'd say, even for the X Factor. No one is obviously favourite, which is different from most previous years, but may also point to a worrying lack of something. Markus, Craig, Little Mix and Misha B could all steal it. I reckon Kitty and Janet are in trouble after tonight and will sing off tomorrow.
It’s Queen and Lady Gaga week – help m’boab. No one can sing Queen and anyone can sing Gaga, so the Queen-mob are going to be at a disadvantage. But first they have to replace Frankie Cocozza, who is supposed to have broken the rules of the competition by taking cocaine. The tabloids have portrayed this as shocking and transgressive, but Frankie came over to me as a complete prat, about as ‘transgressive’ as Plastic Bertrand. How many people have taken cocaine? Millions probably. Join the back of the queue, Frankie. Bye.
First up is Kitty singing Queen. Kitty is another who thinks she is original and transgressive. She wanted to sing ‘Born this Way’ and is emotional about not getting to sing it – I’m rather glad, I must admit. It would have been an ego-fest of a song for her. She has a lion-mane on her head. What’s that about? Her vocal limitations are really being shown up by ‘Don’t Stop Me Now’. Terrible. Do stop her. Please! Tulisa likes it. So does Kelly. Maybe the volume of the live show has obscured how weak some of that was? I’d give that 3 out of 10. Wife says 7. Daughter says 7. They are in a generous mood!
Now it’s Craig, who wants to be “unique” and “have his own sound.” You’re on the wrong show, Craig. Maybe you should have joined a band and written some songs and played in grotty wee pubs for a few years to develop uniqueness. He’s doing Paparazzi. He’s singing it well enough as a ballad. But Lady G’s original had a degree of fun about it, which this entirely lacks. However, Craig at least seems like a nice guy and he is a good singer. The judges are all saying how great it was. It wasn't 'great' by any stretch of the imagination, but at least he tried to do it differently from the original. I’ll give that 8. Wife says 8. Daughter says 9.
It’s Little Mix now. They can at least sing in tune. However that doesn’t help them become any more than a-girl-next-door version of The Saturdays. Here they come, astonishingly with Radio Ga Ga!! No, they were fooling us, they’re doing Lady Gaga’s Telephone. That’s more like it! That’s what we expect and they’re doing it in exactly the way we expect. And they are doing it well. Louie loves everything about it. Kelly says the vocals were shaky at the beginning (and she is right, although they did get better). Gary says it was predictable, which is putting it mildly. Oddly, two of the girls who looked nothing like one another at the beginning of the series now seem to get more alike with every week. Spooky. I’ll say 6. Wife says 9. Daughter says 10. Crikey...
Now we have Janet. She started really well in the competition, but her first audition sounds far better to me than anything she’s done since. And they’ve styled her all wrong too. Ha... Kelly seems to have realised that and wants her to "go back to who she was" (and actually is). She’s singing a very strange version of Somebody to Love. It’s like they’ve taken a Queen song and Clannad-ed it or something! She is singing OK, but I don’t really like it. Louis loved it. Tulisa says she’d have to be in a certain kind of mood to listen to her. Gary says he’s bored. I’d have to be semi-comotose to appreciate that performance. A shame, as I genuinely like her. I’d say 6. Wife says 9 for her voice, as opposed to the arrangement. Daughter says 10 (she loves Janet).
Now it’s Markus. Now, Markus really is good. He has real soul, although we’ll see how long it takes for Cowell to knock that out of him. Sounds like Another One Bites the Dust crossed with Phil Collins singing Motown. Can you imagine? Who writes these arrangements? The song arranger should be locked away with bread and water for week. Markus is singing well, but really they all sing well at this stage. The arrangement is truly awful. Ugh... People in leather trousers are dancing weirdly in the background. Some tactical comments from the judges who want to elimintae the stronger acts so their own acts benefit. Naughty, but they're all at it. Oh, I’d give Markus 7 for his performance. Wife says 10 for his vocals. Daughter says 10.
Misha B is next. They gave her a nice hairstyle last week, very natural, and she looked all the better for it. Sometimes they’ve put a curious modernist sculpture on her head, which I’m told may have been made from her hair. I hope it’s the natural look tonight. It is. Good, as I’m sure it helps. She’s singing Born this Way and I’m sure she’ll make a better job of it than Kitty. The clattering drum sound is really annoying. What are the dancers? Glam traffic wardens with shiny pyjama bottoms? She sang it well though (yawn, as ever). All the judges loved it. I’d give her 8 for the performance. The arrangement isn’t her fault. Wife says 8. Daughter says 9.
Now we're going to find out who has been chosen to replace Frankie. It should be Amelia Lily, I think, as she should never have been put out in the first place. But I heard some tabloid rumour that it will be '2 Shoes'. God save us...
Here we go. Who has won the public vote to re-enter the competition? With 48% of the vote the winner is Amelia! Well, at least that’s justice. Now can she cement her place? She’s singing The Show Must Go On. She singing it on stage all by herself, no dancers in ridiculous costumes in sight. Perhaps they didn’t have time to rehearse an idiotic stage show with the ‘possibles’. And all the better for it. She is in the Leona Lewis mould. Not my kind of music, to put it mildly, but she sang it with passion and conviction. I’d give her 8. Wife says 9. Daughter says 10.
And that’s it for tonight. It's a fairly middling line-up, I'd say, even for the X Factor. No one is obviously favourite, which is different from most previous years, but may also point to a worrying lack of something. Markus, Craig, Little Mix and Misha B could all steal it. I reckon Kitty and Janet are in trouble after tonight and will sing off tomorrow.
Sunday, December 12, 2010
The X Factor Final 2010 - Part 2
Part 2 of the final, minus Cher. Matt, One Direction and Rebecca fight it out. It’s a struggle between consistent and boring, cheeky and scream-inducing, cool and classy. Well, who would you choose? My entirely unbiased live blog will carry you through the evening. Can Rebecca do it? She is the best, but I wouldn’t bet on it. I'll update as the evening goes on.
Matt is singing first. He’s been plugging away at his music for 17 years and has got nowhere. There just could be a reason for that - that way audiences have of falling asleep during performances might be one of them. He’s singing Katy Perry’s ‘Firework’ and deserves to lose just for that reason. Horrible song, currently new and popular – going for the teenage girl vote. He’s wearing neon yellow trousers – who that’s supposed to appeal to, I don’t know. I’ll give him 6, as he sang the horrible song consistently as ever. Daughter says 7.
One Direction are doing their boy band thing and they did it just the way you’d expect. Plenty of energy, a few harmonies. It’s a Take That song, isn’t it? I get confused, as those kind of songs all sound very similar to one another. Really new, original and cutting-edge. Not. Simon says they are something we’ve never heard before. Ha ha ha ha... How can he say that with a straight face? He isn’t even being ironic! The boys sang it OK though. I’ll give them 7. Daughter says 7.
It’s Rebecca. She’ll have to do brilliantly to win as she deserves because I fear the British public will go for one of the other two. She’s singing ‘Sweet Dreams Are Made of This’. They’ve tied her hair up and slapped loads of make-up on her face. Harsh lipstick. Not the best look for Rebecca, I think. But her version of the song is quite different from the original. A good thing too, as the song is pretty boring. She breathed a degree of life into it. I’ll give her 9. Faultless performance. I took one off because the song is dull. Daughter says 8.
Ok, after the break, one act is going home. Three will become two. Matt is the weakest, I think, but I'm not at all sure the great British public will see things my way.
Oh no, Matt is through. Looks like Rebecca is out! But NO!!! One Direction are out! Wow, that was a surprise. And a little unjustified, as I think they’ve been much better than Matt in the final. So it's Matt v Rebecca head-to-head. Nail-biting stuff.
Matt and Rebecca will both sing their own winner’s single, not the same song as in previous years. Probably fair enough.
Will Matt choose another crowd-pleaser? It’s an incredibly bland song. What the hell is it? “When we collide we come together, if we join we’ll always be apart...” He’s singing it OK, but he could sleepwalk that kind of song (and everyone else will sleepwalk with him!) Zzzzzzz. So boring. The neon blue lights, lasers, and smoke can’t disguise how weak a song that was. ‘A brilliant contemporary pop song’ says Louie. ‘Incredible song’ says Simon. What are they on! He sang it well, mind you, to be fair, and he put a lot of feeling into it. I won’t bother with marks out of ten at this stage.
Rebecca is now on. She’s singing cool and classy as ever. Perfect song for her. It’s really good. A few tremors halfway through the second verse – nerves and emotions. But she recovers. She recovers big-time. The emotion she conveys by doing something really simply is amazing. It’s all in the voice. She has surely sang Matt off the stage with this. Brilliant. Simon says he can’t call this competition. He must have listened to a different show tonight! Although it’s true it’s impossible to know who is going to get the votes. Rebecca is easily the best though and has been from the first live show.
"One last surprise after the break," Dermott tells us. OK. What will that be? A duet between Robbie Williams and some member of Westlife? Simon and Louie miming to 'I Love Rock'n'Roll'? Who knows... In any case, we'll soon find out who has won. Must be Rebecca, surely.
No, the surprise is just Take That! I don’t understand the excitement around the re-formed Take That. It’s tedious stuff. And this new single they’re performing is awful. I bet Matt loves it though...
After the break it’s the final result. The voting has closed. Fab Marks and Spencers advert. Great dance routine complete with circling Santas. Here we go though – back with the result, which is in...
On come the judges with Matt and Rebecca. They look tense. The winner of the X Factor 2010 is... Matt??? You're kidding! That’s a crazy result. Matt is going to sing that boring song again, which will be a single. Who in their right mind would buy this?
Anyway, the alternative is to make John Cage’s 4’33 number one for Christmas and I’m certainly going to download it. There is a Facebook campaign. A little ambient silence is just what’s needed. Matt is still singing. It’s almost as soporific as silence, but more annoying. Oh boy...
And here endeth the X Factor 2010 live commentary.
Matt is singing first. He’s been plugging away at his music for 17 years and has got nowhere. There just could be a reason for that - that way audiences have of falling asleep during performances might be one of them. He’s singing Katy Perry’s ‘Firework’ and deserves to lose just for that reason. Horrible song, currently new and popular – going for the teenage girl vote. He’s wearing neon yellow trousers – who that’s supposed to appeal to, I don’t know. I’ll give him 6, as he sang the horrible song consistently as ever. Daughter says 7.
One Direction are doing their boy band thing and they did it just the way you’d expect. Plenty of energy, a few harmonies. It’s a Take That song, isn’t it? I get confused, as those kind of songs all sound very similar to one another. Really new, original and cutting-edge. Not. Simon says they are something we’ve never heard before. Ha ha ha ha... How can he say that with a straight face? He isn’t even being ironic! The boys sang it OK though. I’ll give them 7. Daughter says 7.
It’s Rebecca. She’ll have to do brilliantly to win as she deserves because I fear the British public will go for one of the other two. She’s singing ‘Sweet Dreams Are Made of This’. They’ve tied her hair up and slapped loads of make-up on her face. Harsh lipstick. Not the best look for Rebecca, I think. But her version of the song is quite different from the original. A good thing too, as the song is pretty boring. She breathed a degree of life into it. I’ll give her 9. Faultless performance. I took one off because the song is dull. Daughter says 8.
Ok, after the break, one act is going home. Three will become two. Matt is the weakest, I think, but I'm not at all sure the great British public will see things my way.
Oh no, Matt is through. Looks like Rebecca is out! But NO!!! One Direction are out! Wow, that was a surprise. And a little unjustified, as I think they’ve been much better than Matt in the final. So it's Matt v Rebecca head-to-head. Nail-biting stuff.
Matt and Rebecca will both sing their own winner’s single, not the same song as in previous years. Probably fair enough.
Will Matt choose another crowd-pleaser? It’s an incredibly bland song. What the hell is it? “When we collide we come together, if we join we’ll always be apart...” He’s singing it OK, but he could sleepwalk that kind of song (and everyone else will sleepwalk with him!) Zzzzzzz. So boring. The neon blue lights, lasers, and smoke can’t disguise how weak a song that was. ‘A brilliant contemporary pop song’ says Louie. ‘Incredible song’ says Simon. What are they on! He sang it well, mind you, to be fair, and he put a lot of feeling into it. I won’t bother with marks out of ten at this stage.
Rebecca is now on. She’s singing cool and classy as ever. Perfect song for her. It’s really good. A few tremors halfway through the second verse – nerves and emotions. But she recovers. She recovers big-time. The emotion she conveys by doing something really simply is amazing. It’s all in the voice. She has surely sang Matt off the stage with this. Brilliant. Simon says he can’t call this competition. He must have listened to a different show tonight! Although it’s true it’s impossible to know who is going to get the votes. Rebecca is easily the best though and has been from the first live show.
"One last surprise after the break," Dermott tells us. OK. What will that be? A duet between Robbie Williams and some member of Westlife? Simon and Louie miming to 'I Love Rock'n'Roll'? Who knows... In any case, we'll soon find out who has won. Must be Rebecca, surely.
No, the surprise is just Take That! I don’t understand the excitement around the re-formed Take That. It’s tedious stuff. And this new single they’re performing is awful. I bet Matt loves it though...
After the break it’s the final result. The voting has closed. Fab Marks and Spencers advert. Great dance routine complete with circling Santas. Here we go though – back with the result, which is in...
On come the judges with Matt and Rebecca. They look tense. The winner of the X Factor 2010 is... Matt??? You're kidding! That’s a crazy result. Matt is going to sing that boring song again, which will be a single. Who in their right mind would buy this?
Anyway, the alternative is to make John Cage’s 4’33 number one for Christmas and I’m certainly going to download it. There is a Facebook campaign. A little ambient silence is just what’s needed. Matt is still singing. It’s almost as soporific as silence, but more annoying. Oh boy...
And here endeth the X Factor 2010 live commentary.
Saturday, December 11, 2010
The X Factor Final 2010: Live Commentary
It’s the final of X Factor. Can you feel it? But don’t worry, you have this live blog for company, updated as the show progresses.
Missed Rebecca, who was first up. Apparently, she was terrific. Hmmmm, sounds as if I also missed Matt who was really first up. The clip shows Matt being Matt, technically perfect and mind-numbingly boring.
Now it’s One Direction. I hope they don’t win, although I suspect we’ll be seeing their cheeky faces around for a long time, win or lose. Will they sing in 4-part harmony tonight? They’re singing Elton and, would you believe, they do try a harmony and almost get it right – a wee bit out, but not all that much! An OK start, I suppose. I’ll give them 7, one of their better attempts. Daughter says 7.
Now it’s Cher. She starts standing on the judges’ table, showing ‘attitude’, or should that simply be ‘altitude’. It’s a good performance by Cher. It’s not really my kind of stuff, but it’s not dull. She could even make an interesting record, given decent songwriters. Simon says she is his favourite brat with a heart. I’ll give her 8. Daughter says 8.
Now it’s round 2, and Matt is thrilled to sing along with his star. Who is it? Let’s find out. He’s doing his best John Bon Jovi impression tonight. Well done, Matt. Zzzzzzzz. Here comes Rihanna, who is mentioned in one of my poems, 'The Look' from my 'The Opposite of Cabbage' collection. It stands to reason that Matt would like Rihanna. Tedious MOR stuff. She is tall, so tall. Matt says he looks up to her – he didn’t have much choice! Their harmonies are a bit off. I’ll give Matt 5 for that. Daughter says 6.
Here comes Rebecca. Can she wipe the smiles off No Direction’s faces? I mean One Direction, of course. Good to see her hair down – much less severe than the tightly pulled back look. She’s singing ‘Beautiful’, Christina Aguilera’s best song. I think Rebecca sings it better than Christina, to be honest – more controlled, less histrionics. I’ll say 8. Daughter says 9.
Who will duet with One Direction? Important to get right for the boys. Och, it’s Robbie Williams. It would be. How predictable can you get? I can’t stand him. OD says he’s a ‘hero to all of us.’ Well, I guess you get the heroes you deserve. I can hear the sound of harmonies, but this time, was that them or was it part of the backing tape?! It sounded suspiciously high and harmony-perfect. I’ll say 6. Daughter says 7.
Here comes Cher. She’s rapping. It’s the Black Eyes Peas guy. Not much I can say about that. 'Tonight’s Gonna Be A good Night'. Maybe. I think Cher will go tonight, although that’s a shame, because she did well there. I’ll say 7. Daughter says 7.
Rihanna’s doing a special guest performance. I’ll take this opportunity to watch wallpaper dry in the next room out-of-earshot...
Christina Aguilera now. Burlesque. Zzzzzzz. Skimpy costumes can’t make an interesting song all by themselves. CA can sing, of course, but what a boring song.
One of the four remaining hopefuls is about to be eliminated. Who will it be? I’d like to think Matt or One Direction, but I reckon it will be Cher. Why? Well, Matt's voice gets votes from people who think that's what the show is about. But think of his debut album! Could you do anything but sleep through it? One Direction simply appeal to, let's say, a different planet from the one I live in, but their fans appear to vote in force. Keep Rebecca in though, please.
Who’s going through? The announcement is coming from Dermott. The four acts and judges are coming onto stage. On now. In no particular order, the first act through is.... REBECCA! Yeah!! Second through is One Direction. Now, Matt or Cher? Come on, Cher, even though it’s obviously going to be Matt. Aw, what a shame. Cher is going home...Bye, Cher. We’ll hear from you again, I suspect, and I don’t think that about many X Factor losers.
The final continues tomorrow. Only three left, only one with that little bit extra. However, Rebecca could easily end up going out first tomorrow with Matt vs OD in the sing-off. What a joke that would be. We'll see...
Missed Rebecca, who was first up. Apparently, she was terrific. Hmmmm, sounds as if I also missed Matt who was really first up. The clip shows Matt being Matt, technically perfect and mind-numbingly boring.
Now it’s One Direction. I hope they don’t win, although I suspect we’ll be seeing their cheeky faces around for a long time, win or lose. Will they sing in 4-part harmony tonight? They’re singing Elton and, would you believe, they do try a harmony and almost get it right – a wee bit out, but not all that much! An OK start, I suppose. I’ll give them 7, one of their better attempts. Daughter says 7.
Now it’s Cher. She starts standing on the judges’ table, showing ‘attitude’, or should that simply be ‘altitude’. It’s a good performance by Cher. It’s not really my kind of stuff, but it’s not dull. She could even make an interesting record, given decent songwriters. Simon says she is his favourite brat with a heart. I’ll give her 8. Daughter says 8.
Now it’s round 2, and Matt is thrilled to sing along with his star. Who is it? Let’s find out. He’s doing his best John Bon Jovi impression tonight. Well done, Matt. Zzzzzzzz. Here comes Rihanna, who is mentioned in one of my poems, 'The Look' from my 'The Opposite of Cabbage' collection. It stands to reason that Matt would like Rihanna. Tedious MOR stuff. She is tall, so tall. Matt says he looks up to her – he didn’t have much choice! Their harmonies are a bit off. I’ll give Matt 5 for that. Daughter says 6.
Here comes Rebecca. Can she wipe the smiles off No Direction’s faces? I mean One Direction, of course. Good to see her hair down – much less severe than the tightly pulled back look. She’s singing ‘Beautiful’, Christina Aguilera’s best song. I think Rebecca sings it better than Christina, to be honest – more controlled, less histrionics. I’ll say 8. Daughter says 9.
Who will duet with One Direction? Important to get right for the boys. Och, it’s Robbie Williams. It would be. How predictable can you get? I can’t stand him. OD says he’s a ‘hero to all of us.’ Well, I guess you get the heroes you deserve. I can hear the sound of harmonies, but this time, was that them or was it part of the backing tape?! It sounded suspiciously high and harmony-perfect. I’ll say 6. Daughter says 7.
Here comes Cher. She’s rapping. It’s the Black Eyes Peas guy. Not much I can say about that. 'Tonight’s Gonna Be A good Night'. Maybe. I think Cher will go tonight, although that’s a shame, because she did well there. I’ll say 7. Daughter says 7.
Rihanna’s doing a special guest performance. I’ll take this opportunity to watch wallpaper dry in the next room out-of-earshot...
Christina Aguilera now. Burlesque. Zzzzzzz. Skimpy costumes can’t make an interesting song all by themselves. CA can sing, of course, but what a boring song.
One of the four remaining hopefuls is about to be eliminated. Who will it be? I’d like to think Matt or One Direction, but I reckon it will be Cher. Why? Well, Matt's voice gets votes from people who think that's what the show is about. But think of his debut album! Could you do anything but sleep through it? One Direction simply appeal to, let's say, a different planet from the one I live in, but their fans appear to vote in force. Keep Rebecca in though, please.
Who’s going through? The announcement is coming from Dermott. The four acts and judges are coming onto stage. On now. In no particular order, the first act through is.... REBECCA! Yeah!! Second through is One Direction. Now, Matt or Cher? Come on, Cher, even though it’s obviously going to be Matt. Aw, what a shame. Cher is going home...Bye, Cher. We’ll hear from you again, I suspect, and I don’t think that about many X Factor losers.
The final continues tomorrow. Only three left, only one with that little bit extra. However, Rebecca could easily end up going out first tomorrow with Matt vs OD in the sing-off. What a joke that would be. We'll see...
Saturday, December 04, 2010
The X Factor - Semi-Final: Live Commentary
X Factor time again. I missed blogging last week after being waylaid by a few pints of Guinness with ABJ and friends. I really ought to be more professional about this... Still, I’m here with more live blogging fun tonight and will update as the show progresses. Five acts still in with a chance – One Direction, Mary, Matt, Rebecca and Cher – and two must go this weekend (edit: actually, sounds as though only one is going and four will be in the final). My hunch is that Mary is doomed. Next in line are Rebecca and Cher, even though they are far more interesting than the boring Matt and the boyband OD. Difficult to call. Of course, it partly depends on their performances. Rebecca was streets ahead of the rest earlier in the competition, but she’s not been as convincing lately. Let the show begin...
We’re going to find out how Rebecca is shaping up right now. She’s first on tonight. She’s still going on about how she’s beginning to regain her confidence. She’s singing up-tempo clubby stuff and is absolutely static – OK with ballads and cool jazzy songs of her previous outings, but she needs to move just a little bit this time! She sang it well, mind you. Nice hairstyle too. I’ll give that 7. Daughter says 9.
Mary is up next. Louie uses the phrase ‘final four’ so maybe only one person is leaving tonight. If that’s the case, I guess it’s Mary unless she has a storming night. She’s singing fine but she’s so MOR. It’s karaoke, superior karaoke of course, as she’s a good singer, but dull. Danii says ‘Mary has her mojo back.’ I don’t know what she’s talking about. My wife says ‘Stop putting her hair in a bun. She looks like Mrs Pepperpot.’ I’ll say 5, daughter says 5 too.
Oh Matt’s had a sore throat. Let’s have some sympathy for Matt. He won’t be able to do his high James Blunty licks tonight, so it may be the Brian Adamsy Matt tonight. Oh, but no, he can sing fine. The throat has made a miraculous recovery. He’s as predictable as ever... However, the throat is beginning to crack as he continues. Louie doesn’t say ‘predictable’ but says ‘consistent’. Matt could win, but could be the next Leon Jackson, my wife says. She’s got it right. I’ll give Matt 7. Daughter says 6.
What will Cher do tonight? She’s rapping. Surprise us, Cher! Now she's singing. Her vocals are kind of ropey, as if she’s straining at the higher notes. She gives a cheeky little ‘hello’ halfway through the song. Danii says the song didn’t show her vocals at their best. Well, someone had to say it. No one else seems to have noticed though. Simon says she represents every teenager with a dream. Every teenager? I hope not. I hope some of them are reading J P Sartre novels, listening to Can and watching Bergman movies. Anyway, I’ll give Cher 5 for that. Daughter says 8.
Joe McElderry, last year’s winner, has given One Direction advice. Well, listen to the experts, boys. Maybe Leon Jackson will be offering you a few pearls of wisdom next week! They promise they’ll be on stage with ‘hot girls’ tonight. They are performing well, I have to say, although they are not for me and would no doubt be shocked if I gave them over 6 or 7. They don’t sing many harmonies, do they? Is that because they can’t? I’ll give them...7. Daughter says 8.
End of part 1. Part 2 begins with Matt. Sounds great, I must admit. Really strong vocal to a terrific song, and a song with a huge range. He must have been sucking the Lockets over the break as his throat showed no sign of strain at all. Simon says it was too safe and didn’t like the song. I disagree. Matt seems disappointed. I don’t know why, as I thought that was better than his first half performance. I’ll give him 8. Daughter says 7.
Mary is singing for her life now. She is out if she doesn’t really hit everyone for six right now. Well, if Matt was safe, then Mary is already cocooned. She’s singing ‘The Way We Were (Memories)’, the kind of ballad she is absolutely at home with. I’m falling asleep. Wake me up, someone! ‘I could see her singing on a cruise ship,’ says my wife. Yes, perhaps on a Shirley Bassey themed night. Mary is crying. If she goes out, she won’t be back at Tescos. In fact, Simon says just that after I wrote it. A life on stage awaits you, Mary and you’ll no doubt sell bags of records for the MOR set too. I’ll give her 7, as she sang it OK. Daughter says 8.
(As a quick aside, I now take back my earlier comment about Joe McElderry. We got a quick clip of Joe singing - one of theose phone-in X Factor comeptitions just before the break, and, do you know, he'd beat any of the contestants tonight... One Direction really should listen to him.)
Now here comes Cher again. Cher says she’s very emotional about the song. It’s a song that cries out ‘Please vote for me,’ she says. Danni wonders if she might not be compared unfavourably to the original. She sings away and does OK and suddenly enters a rap – the rap didn’t ‘fit’ this time. It’s as though Cher thinks a quick rap is obligatory to pick up votes. She is highly intense and sings well. Danii doesn’t like it much. Cher isn’t exactly articulate and talks nonsense afterwards, but I hope she makes the final. I’ll give her 7. Daughter says 8.
Rebecca is talking about how much of a struggle it is to bring up kids on her own etc – really going for the sympathy vote. You don’t need to Rebecca – sing well and you’re the best in the competition. Can you believe it? She’s singing Amazing Grace! And she’s singing it incredibly well. Fab key change into second verse. She’s singing that song as if she believes every word – whether she does or not. Louie says she’s his favourite contestant ever. Wow... She did that really well though. The best of the night easily. Singing like that, she'd whip Joe McE, no problem. I’ll give her 10. Daughter says 9.
Only One Direction to go. Any harmonies in this song, guys? Can you do them? They’re singing Snow Patrol, an X Factor standard. ‘If I lay here, would you lie with me and just forget the world?’ Perfect lines for harmony, but not a trace. However, in the speeded up section, one of them goes a third up! Wow, what a shock. A harmony, albeit the simplest one possible... But I want to hear four-part harmonies. They obviously can’t do it. It was OK but hardly an advance on the Snow Patrol original. I’ll give them 6. Daughter says 7.
Who is in danger? I think Mary is out. End of the line on the X Factor, but her career in music is safe, and that’s what we all want for Mary, isn’t it? Seems like a nice person with a fine voice. Good luck to her.
We’re going to find out how Rebecca is shaping up right now. She’s first on tonight. She’s still going on about how she’s beginning to regain her confidence. She’s singing up-tempo clubby stuff and is absolutely static – OK with ballads and cool jazzy songs of her previous outings, but she needs to move just a little bit this time! She sang it well, mind you. Nice hairstyle too. I’ll give that 7. Daughter says 9.
Mary is up next. Louie uses the phrase ‘final four’ so maybe only one person is leaving tonight. If that’s the case, I guess it’s Mary unless she has a storming night. She’s singing fine but she’s so MOR. It’s karaoke, superior karaoke of course, as she’s a good singer, but dull. Danii says ‘Mary has her mojo back.’ I don’t know what she’s talking about. My wife says ‘Stop putting her hair in a bun. She looks like Mrs Pepperpot.’ I’ll say 5, daughter says 5 too.
Oh Matt’s had a sore throat. Let’s have some sympathy for Matt. He won’t be able to do his high James Blunty licks tonight, so it may be the Brian Adamsy Matt tonight. Oh, but no, he can sing fine. The throat has made a miraculous recovery. He’s as predictable as ever... However, the throat is beginning to crack as he continues. Louie doesn’t say ‘predictable’ but says ‘consistent’. Matt could win, but could be the next Leon Jackson, my wife says. She’s got it right. I’ll give Matt 7. Daughter says 6.
What will Cher do tonight? She’s rapping. Surprise us, Cher! Now she's singing. Her vocals are kind of ropey, as if she’s straining at the higher notes. She gives a cheeky little ‘hello’ halfway through the song. Danii says the song didn’t show her vocals at their best. Well, someone had to say it. No one else seems to have noticed though. Simon says she represents every teenager with a dream. Every teenager? I hope not. I hope some of them are reading J P Sartre novels, listening to Can and watching Bergman movies. Anyway, I’ll give Cher 5 for that. Daughter says 8.
Joe McElderry, last year’s winner, has given One Direction advice. Well, listen to the experts, boys. Maybe Leon Jackson will be offering you a few pearls of wisdom next week! They promise they’ll be on stage with ‘hot girls’ tonight. They are performing well, I have to say, although they are not for me and would no doubt be shocked if I gave them over 6 or 7. They don’t sing many harmonies, do they? Is that because they can’t? I’ll give them...7. Daughter says 8.
End of part 1. Part 2 begins with Matt. Sounds great, I must admit. Really strong vocal to a terrific song, and a song with a huge range. He must have been sucking the Lockets over the break as his throat showed no sign of strain at all. Simon says it was too safe and didn’t like the song. I disagree. Matt seems disappointed. I don’t know why, as I thought that was better than his first half performance. I’ll give him 8. Daughter says 7.
Mary is singing for her life now. She is out if she doesn’t really hit everyone for six right now. Well, if Matt was safe, then Mary is already cocooned. She’s singing ‘The Way We Were (Memories)’, the kind of ballad she is absolutely at home with. I’m falling asleep. Wake me up, someone! ‘I could see her singing on a cruise ship,’ says my wife. Yes, perhaps on a Shirley Bassey themed night. Mary is crying. If she goes out, she won’t be back at Tescos. In fact, Simon says just that after I wrote it. A life on stage awaits you, Mary and you’ll no doubt sell bags of records for the MOR set too. I’ll give her 7, as she sang it OK. Daughter says 8.
(As a quick aside, I now take back my earlier comment about Joe McElderry. We got a quick clip of Joe singing - one of theose phone-in X Factor comeptitions just before the break, and, do you know, he'd beat any of the contestants tonight... One Direction really should listen to him.)
Now here comes Cher again. Cher says she’s very emotional about the song. It’s a song that cries out ‘Please vote for me,’ she says. Danni wonders if she might not be compared unfavourably to the original. She sings away and does OK and suddenly enters a rap – the rap didn’t ‘fit’ this time. It’s as though Cher thinks a quick rap is obligatory to pick up votes. She is highly intense and sings well. Danii doesn’t like it much. Cher isn’t exactly articulate and talks nonsense afterwards, but I hope she makes the final. I’ll give her 7. Daughter says 8.
Rebecca is talking about how much of a struggle it is to bring up kids on her own etc – really going for the sympathy vote. You don’t need to Rebecca – sing well and you’re the best in the competition. Can you believe it? She’s singing Amazing Grace! And she’s singing it incredibly well. Fab key change into second verse. She’s singing that song as if she believes every word – whether she does or not. Louie says she’s his favourite contestant ever. Wow... She did that really well though. The best of the night easily. Singing like that, she'd whip Joe McE, no problem. I’ll give her 10. Daughter says 9.
Only One Direction to go. Any harmonies in this song, guys? Can you do them? They’re singing Snow Patrol, an X Factor standard. ‘If I lay here, would you lie with me and just forget the world?’ Perfect lines for harmony, but not a trace. However, in the speeded up section, one of them goes a third up! Wow, what a shock. A harmony, albeit the simplest one possible... But I want to hear four-part harmonies. They obviously can’t do it. It was OK but hardly an advance on the Snow Patrol original. I’ll give them 6. Daughter says 7.
Who is in danger? I think Mary is out. End of the line on the X Factor, but her career in music is safe, and that’s what we all want for Mary, isn’t it? Seems like a nice person with a fine voice. Good luck to her.
Saturday, November 20, 2010
The X Factor - Week 7: Live Commentary
It’s X Factor time again. I will comment live as the show moves along. I should warn you, I was at Helena Nelson’s book launch this afternoon and was waylaid afterwards by the Tolbooth bar and two pints of Kronenbourg. So I may have less patience with Matt’s desperate attempts to impress etc.
And guess what? It’s Matt first, with ‘Come Together’, probably my least favourite Beatles song ever. Matt is attempting to rock out. He says he wants to develop a ‘swagger’. No Matt, you either have swagger or you don’t. And you don’t. It was a shrieking, horrible version of a dud song. The judges loved it, apart from Louie. They are idiots, apart from Louie. I’ll say 4. Daughter says 9.
I should have said – it’s Beatles night. Cher says she’s not going to let anything get in her way of winning, as if that's what music is about. She’s singing 'Imagine'. Crikey... She is over-singing it. Too many trills, as if Mariah Carey, without the vocal range, had been let loose on a Joy Division song. She’s trying too hard to er...‘improve’ a song that thrives on a simple approach. Horrible. Cher has showed her age and her lack of perspective. It’s all about ‘hear me sing’ rather than the song. Oh dear. I’d give that 4 as well. Daughter says 8.
Now here come One Direction. They will surely sing early Beatles, something cutesy. But no, they’re doing 'All You Need Is Love' – but an up-tempo version. It’s very different from the original, so points for that. But I don’t care about it much. In this case, I do like the original and that version didn’t cut it for me. It’s hi-energy, but lacks the original’s warmth. And warmth is everything in this song. Well performed though, to be fair. I’ll say 6. Daughter says 9.
Not the best start, to be honest. But Rebecca is next. My wife says, "Bet she’ll sing ‘Let it Be’." Maybe. Hard for her flying the Liverpool flag – pressure...It’s ‘Yesterday’. Slightly dodgy start for Rebecca too! She has been great up until now. But this sounds kind of strained. Like Cher she’s over-singing it, to show what she can do. Sounds a little uncontrolled. She is better with a swing. Harsh, tight hairstyle too, which isn’t her fault of course – a softer style would make her look much better, in my opinion. Not terrible, but not as good as we’re used to. I’ll say 7 (first time I've given her less than 9, I think, and it was 10 for the last two weeks)). Daughter says 9.
Now we have Mary who has bored me for ages now. Can she sing a Beatles song? Let’s see. She’s singing ‘Something’ and is singing in the style, even the intonation, of Shirley Bassey. I hate it when people do songs in the style of already inferior covers. She sings very powerfully, but it’s so derivative that I can’t warm to it. I am being very catty tonight, I realise that. Anyway, I’ll say 6 for that. Daughter says 7.
Paije and Wagner next, after the break. Not something to look forward to, although Paije now and again can surprise me. Can he tonight?
Paije was stung by Simon last week saying he had no chance of winning. Amazing how they take the judges’ words so much to heart. What power those judges must feel they have! Not over anything important though. Anyway, where are we? Paije is singing ‘Let It Be’ and, as ever, he is adequate. Adequate Paije. But nothing special. Really I could give Paije a 6 or 7 every week for all eternity, and so what? The judges all liked it. Adequate. I’ll say 7 this week. Next week it could be 6. Or 7. Daughter says 10.
Wagner!!! What Beatles’ song could he possibly sing? Octopus’s Garden? Back in the USSR? Ah OK, it’s ‘Get Back’. And suddenly it’s the Hippy Hippy Shake. And suddenly it’s ‘Hey Jude.’ It’s TERRIBLE. Just embarrassingly bad. So I guess all the anti-X Factor people will be more committed than ever to vote for him and keep him in the competition. Cheryl is angry because she'd read some comment in the press Wagner had made about her coming from a council estate. Wagner protets that he had said she was a role model for kids because she had made something of herself despite her background. This at least shuts Cheryl up, but doesn't save the performance. I’ll say 1. Daughter says 1.
Last tonight, Katie. She’s been in the bottom two four times now. I don’t think that’s because of her performances. She’s better, more interesting, to watch than most people in the show. So it must be because she’s ‘irritating’, although she doesn’t strike me as more irritating than any of the others. She’s singing ‘Help!’ – but as a ballad! No wig tonight. Great for the first minute or so. In fact, great for most of it. A few unnecessary histrionics, but the best tonight – easily. Danii wants to know the ‘real Katie’. Katie probably doesn’t know the real Katie, and why should she? Shut up, Danii. Surely Katie can’t be in the bottom two again after that? My wife has said for weeks they should style her less rock-chick, and I think she’s right. I’ll give her 9. Daughter says 10.
Who should go? Well, it's been a poor week. Some people who are normally good, like Rebecca, Matt and Cher were quite weak, but I suspect they'll be OK. Obviously Wagner should go, but might not due to mischievous voting. Katie shouldn't go, but on past voting patterns, she might... OK, I think Wagner is for the chop this time. He only needs to finish in the bottom two, against anyone, and he's toast. This week is his final week.
And guess what? It’s Matt first, with ‘Come Together’, probably my least favourite Beatles song ever. Matt is attempting to rock out. He says he wants to develop a ‘swagger’. No Matt, you either have swagger or you don’t. And you don’t. It was a shrieking, horrible version of a dud song. The judges loved it, apart from Louie. They are idiots, apart from Louie. I’ll say 4. Daughter says 9.
I should have said – it’s Beatles night. Cher says she’s not going to let anything get in her way of winning, as if that's what music is about. She’s singing 'Imagine'. Crikey... She is over-singing it. Too many trills, as if Mariah Carey, without the vocal range, had been let loose on a Joy Division song. She’s trying too hard to er...‘improve’ a song that thrives on a simple approach. Horrible. Cher has showed her age and her lack of perspective. It’s all about ‘hear me sing’ rather than the song. Oh dear. I’d give that 4 as well. Daughter says 8.
Now here come One Direction. They will surely sing early Beatles, something cutesy. But no, they’re doing 'All You Need Is Love' – but an up-tempo version. It’s very different from the original, so points for that. But I don’t care about it much. In this case, I do like the original and that version didn’t cut it for me. It’s hi-energy, but lacks the original’s warmth. And warmth is everything in this song. Well performed though, to be fair. I’ll say 6. Daughter says 9.
Not the best start, to be honest. But Rebecca is next. My wife says, "Bet she’ll sing ‘Let it Be’." Maybe. Hard for her flying the Liverpool flag – pressure...It’s ‘Yesterday’. Slightly dodgy start for Rebecca too! She has been great up until now. But this sounds kind of strained. Like Cher she’s over-singing it, to show what she can do. Sounds a little uncontrolled. She is better with a swing. Harsh, tight hairstyle too, which isn’t her fault of course – a softer style would make her look much better, in my opinion. Not terrible, but not as good as we’re used to. I’ll say 7 (first time I've given her less than 9, I think, and it was 10 for the last two weeks)). Daughter says 9.
Now we have Mary who has bored me for ages now. Can she sing a Beatles song? Let’s see. She’s singing ‘Something’ and is singing in the style, even the intonation, of Shirley Bassey. I hate it when people do songs in the style of already inferior covers. She sings very powerfully, but it’s so derivative that I can’t warm to it. I am being very catty tonight, I realise that. Anyway, I’ll say 6 for that. Daughter says 7.
Paije and Wagner next, after the break. Not something to look forward to, although Paije now and again can surprise me. Can he tonight?
Paije was stung by Simon last week saying he had no chance of winning. Amazing how they take the judges’ words so much to heart. What power those judges must feel they have! Not over anything important though. Anyway, where are we? Paije is singing ‘Let It Be’ and, as ever, he is adequate. Adequate Paije. But nothing special. Really I could give Paije a 6 or 7 every week for all eternity, and so what? The judges all liked it. Adequate. I’ll say 7 this week. Next week it could be 6. Or 7. Daughter says 10.
Wagner!!! What Beatles’ song could he possibly sing? Octopus’s Garden? Back in the USSR? Ah OK, it’s ‘Get Back’. And suddenly it’s the Hippy Hippy Shake. And suddenly it’s ‘Hey Jude.’ It’s TERRIBLE. Just embarrassingly bad. So I guess all the anti-X Factor people will be more committed than ever to vote for him and keep him in the competition. Cheryl is angry because she'd read some comment in the press Wagner had made about her coming from a council estate. Wagner protets that he had said she was a role model for kids because she had made something of herself despite her background. This at least shuts Cheryl up, but doesn't save the performance. I’ll say 1. Daughter says 1.
Last tonight, Katie. She’s been in the bottom two four times now. I don’t think that’s because of her performances. She’s better, more interesting, to watch than most people in the show. So it must be because she’s ‘irritating’, although she doesn’t strike me as more irritating than any of the others. She’s singing ‘Help!’ – but as a ballad! No wig tonight. Great for the first minute or so. In fact, great for most of it. A few unnecessary histrionics, but the best tonight – easily. Danii wants to know the ‘real Katie’. Katie probably doesn’t know the real Katie, and why should she? Shut up, Danii. Surely Katie can’t be in the bottom two again after that? My wife has said for weeks they should style her less rock-chick, and I think she’s right. I’ll give her 9. Daughter says 10.
Who should go? Well, it's been a poor week. Some people who are normally good, like Rebecca, Matt and Cher were quite weak, but I suspect they'll be OK. Obviously Wagner should go, but might not due to mischievous voting. Katie shouldn't go, but on past voting patterns, she might... OK, I think Wagner is for the chop this time. He only needs to finish in the bottom two, against anyone, and he's toast. This week is his final week.
Saturday, November 13, 2010
The X Factor - Week 6: Live Commentary
It’s X Factor time again. I will write in real time and update as the show goes along. I think Katie is in serious danger tonight, even if she does well. However, I don’t find her boring. I hope Mary or Wagner get booted out as I’m now thoroughly bored of them – unless they pull off a major surprise tonight.
It’s ‘Elton John night’ – well, Tiny Dancer, Your Song, and Goodbye Yellow Brick Road etc are great songs. He also has many terrible songs. Which will predominate?
Opening the show tonight is Paije. He’s singing 'Crocodile Rock' in a strange American accent. They’ve decided Paije is ‘fun’ so he’s dressed in a pink jacket and is surrounded by women with big-hair wigs. That isn’t enough to distract from the fact that it was a very ordinary performance. ‘Karaoke’ says Louie. Cheryl displays her encyclopaedic knowledge of modern music by admitting she’s never heard the song before. The judges argue. Simon says his chances of winning are zero. True. I’d give it 5. Daughter says 9. OK!
Now Aiden is about to treat us to one of his starey-eyed, funereal dirges. Well, actually he’s singing 'Rocket Man' and it’s almost up-tempo. His voice quavers all over the place but that’s his style. Louie says he knows Elton would love it. How does he know? Simon likes his ‘swagger’. Swagger? No idea what he’s on about. The performance was OK but nothing special. I’ll say 6, daughter says 8.
Mary says she was tired last week and didn’t have her mind on things. She is so nice and unassuming it seems churlish to criticise her. But here we go. Dodgy start. Like a stage-musical singer warbling rock music, and so it continues. Oh, this is bad – harsh notes, off-tune at times, oh dear... The cheering audience must have cloth ears. ‘Parts of that were shaky,’ Dani says. You don’t say, Dani? ‘Pub singerish, but because you have a heart, it worked,’ says Simon. No it didn’t. Although I agree she has a heart and seems like a good person. Louie says it was in tune. No, it wasn’t! I’ll give her 4. Daughter says 5.
It’s Katie! Come on Katie! It’s an automatic 10 from Daughter – let that encourage you. It's ‘Saturday Night’s Alright for Fighting’- makes sense at an emotional level, but can she sing it? Sounds like someone down the local pub, I’m afraid. The elaborate dancing can’t disguise the fact. Entirely the wrong choice of song – whose idea was it? Cheryl’s choice, apparently. Katie is smiling and looks like she’s enjoying herself. Can’t say I enjoyed it much. Louie says it was a rotten song. Cheryl goes mad at him. Simon says Louie should be removed from the building. He loved it. He admires the way she bounces back week by week after being in the bottom two and receiving bad tabloid headings. Very true, actually. But I could only give that 6. Daughter says...10!
Matt next. Matt is a very good singer, but can you imagine sitting through an entire album by him without falling asleep? He is singing 'Goodbye Yellow Brick Road', and he is singing very well. It’s a song that requires great vocal range, which Matt has in spadeloads. And he has a fine tone too. I can’t knock that, much as I’d like to... Easily the best performance of the night so far. Rebecca still to come, mind you. I’ll say 8. Daughter says 8, although she was barely listening to him - see what I mean about falling asleep?.
Cher Lloyd is about to sing. I saw a Cher-interview and she said that Cheryl having to choose between two of her acts last week was like a mother having to give away one of her babies, which would be “weird”, she claimed. Crikey... Anyway, she’s singing ‘Sorry seems to be the hardest word,’ a laid-back version with beats. She is wearing strange leggings – quite liked them. Quite liked the singing too. I’ll give her 9. Daughter says 6.
Wagner. I hope he tries to sing this week. He can sing. He just doesn’t bother anymore and relies on the big stage choreography. Louie says the performance will be ‘very Wagner’. That doesn’t augur well. He starts with ‘I’m still standing’ – not one of my fave Elton songs. It’s a truly awful vocal performance. He segues into ‘Circle of Life’ from the Lion King – just bizarre, but not in a good way. Louie says it was fun. It wasn’t really. I’ll give him 3. Daughter says 1!!!! Ha ha ha!
Here comes One Direction. They ‘jumped on the song’ when they heard it was Elton week. I wonder which song. One of the good ones, I hope – not some crummy late-period nonsense... Here we go... They are singing in American – it must be Elton’s influence. Weird. They sang quite well. The audience are screaming their heads off. It was a tedious song though. An album full of stuff like that would be a total snore-a-thon. But they did perform it as well as they could have done. I’ll say 7. Daughter says 8.
Only Rebecca to go – save the best for last. At least, she has been the best every week so far. Will her bubble burst tonight? Rebecca doesn’t have that sense of entitlement to stardom that some of the other contestants seem to think they have. I like that. Wow, it’s 'Candle in the Wind'. Brave! It’s a super-charged emotional performance. I don’t even want to type during this... Goosebumps down the spine... Stunning. No stage dancers, no gimmicks, just fabulous. I’ll give her 10 for the second week in a row. Daughter says 9.
Well, on the performances tonight, Wagner should go. Mary was also poor, as was Paije. But I think Katie, sadly, is doomed. On the plus side, Rebecca is still way way ahead. The only threats are One Direction and Matt.
It’s ‘Elton John night’ – well, Tiny Dancer, Your Song, and Goodbye Yellow Brick Road etc are great songs. He also has many terrible songs. Which will predominate?
Opening the show tonight is Paije. He’s singing 'Crocodile Rock' in a strange American accent. They’ve decided Paije is ‘fun’ so he’s dressed in a pink jacket and is surrounded by women with big-hair wigs. That isn’t enough to distract from the fact that it was a very ordinary performance. ‘Karaoke’ says Louie. Cheryl displays her encyclopaedic knowledge of modern music by admitting she’s never heard the song before. The judges argue. Simon says his chances of winning are zero. True. I’d give it 5. Daughter says 9. OK!
Now Aiden is about to treat us to one of his starey-eyed, funereal dirges. Well, actually he’s singing 'Rocket Man' and it’s almost up-tempo. His voice quavers all over the place but that’s his style. Louie says he knows Elton would love it. How does he know? Simon likes his ‘swagger’. Swagger? No idea what he’s on about. The performance was OK but nothing special. I’ll say 6, daughter says 8.
Mary says she was tired last week and didn’t have her mind on things. She is so nice and unassuming it seems churlish to criticise her. But here we go. Dodgy start. Like a stage-musical singer warbling rock music, and so it continues. Oh, this is bad – harsh notes, off-tune at times, oh dear... The cheering audience must have cloth ears. ‘Parts of that were shaky,’ Dani says. You don’t say, Dani? ‘Pub singerish, but because you have a heart, it worked,’ says Simon. No it didn’t. Although I agree she has a heart and seems like a good person. Louie says it was in tune. No, it wasn’t! I’ll give her 4. Daughter says 5.
It’s Katie! Come on Katie! It’s an automatic 10 from Daughter – let that encourage you. It's ‘Saturday Night’s Alright for Fighting’- makes sense at an emotional level, but can she sing it? Sounds like someone down the local pub, I’m afraid. The elaborate dancing can’t disguise the fact. Entirely the wrong choice of song – whose idea was it? Cheryl’s choice, apparently. Katie is smiling and looks like she’s enjoying herself. Can’t say I enjoyed it much. Louie says it was a rotten song. Cheryl goes mad at him. Simon says Louie should be removed from the building. He loved it. He admires the way she bounces back week by week after being in the bottom two and receiving bad tabloid headings. Very true, actually. But I could only give that 6. Daughter says...10!
Matt next. Matt is a very good singer, but can you imagine sitting through an entire album by him without falling asleep? He is singing 'Goodbye Yellow Brick Road', and he is singing very well. It’s a song that requires great vocal range, which Matt has in spadeloads. And he has a fine tone too. I can’t knock that, much as I’d like to... Easily the best performance of the night so far. Rebecca still to come, mind you. I’ll say 8. Daughter says 8, although she was barely listening to him - see what I mean about falling asleep?.
Cher Lloyd is about to sing. I saw a Cher-interview and she said that Cheryl having to choose between two of her acts last week was like a mother having to give away one of her babies, which would be “weird”, she claimed. Crikey... Anyway, she’s singing ‘Sorry seems to be the hardest word,’ a laid-back version with beats. She is wearing strange leggings – quite liked them. Quite liked the singing too. I’ll give her 9. Daughter says 6.
Wagner. I hope he tries to sing this week. He can sing. He just doesn’t bother anymore and relies on the big stage choreography. Louie says the performance will be ‘very Wagner’. That doesn’t augur well. He starts with ‘I’m still standing’ – not one of my fave Elton songs. It’s a truly awful vocal performance. He segues into ‘Circle of Life’ from the Lion King – just bizarre, but not in a good way. Louie says it was fun. It wasn’t really. I’ll give him 3. Daughter says 1!!!! Ha ha ha!
Here comes One Direction. They ‘jumped on the song’ when they heard it was Elton week. I wonder which song. One of the good ones, I hope – not some crummy late-period nonsense... Here we go... They are singing in American – it must be Elton’s influence. Weird. They sang quite well. The audience are screaming their heads off. It was a tedious song though. An album full of stuff like that would be a total snore-a-thon. But they did perform it as well as they could have done. I’ll say 7. Daughter says 8.
Only Rebecca to go – save the best for last. At least, she has been the best every week so far. Will her bubble burst tonight? Rebecca doesn’t have that sense of entitlement to stardom that some of the other contestants seem to think they have. I like that. Wow, it’s 'Candle in the Wind'. Brave! It’s a super-charged emotional performance. I don’t even want to type during this... Goosebumps down the spine... Stunning. No stage dancers, no gimmicks, just fabulous. I’ll give her 10 for the second week in a row. Daughter says 9.
Well, on the performances tonight, Wagner should go. Mary was also poor, as was Paije. But I think Katie, sadly, is doomed. On the plus side, Rebecca is still way way ahead. The only threats are One Direction and Matt.
Saturday, November 06, 2010
The X Factor - Week 5: Live Commentary
We interrupt normal poetic service to bring you the nation’s favourite live commentary on the X-Factor. By 'nation', I mean 'nation of citizens liable to read Surroundings even in passing'. This week is week 5. On every occasion so far, Surroundings has correctly predicted one of the acts sent home (even on weeks when no blogging was carried out – you’ll just have to take my word for it). That this is a fluke, I have no doubt. Be prepared for a shock this week when I get it wrong. As ever, I’ll blog live and paste in commentary as the show progresses.
Missed Cher. Thought the show began at 8pm, but it was 7.45pm. The judges didn’t seem to like it, but what do they know?
Mary is next. She looks nervous and isn’t quite getting it right. Well, it’s getting better as the song goes on. But not all that good. She seems less comfortable. I think she has a musical career ahead of her and will never work in Tesco again, no worries there. Mary is tearful, despite fairly positive comments. I’ll give 5 out of 10. Daughter says 9.
Here comes Katie, so daughter will give her 10. She was in the bottom two last week. One commentator suggests that was because Katie can be ‘annoying’. I agree, to be honest. My wife says her styling might be putting people off, as it’s very harsh week by week. It’s a Madonna/Lady Ga Ga (interchangeable) wig this week with tight black leather suit. Looks fine. She sings well enough. Some negative comments from judges. Cheryl says yes she is a drama queen, but so what? I’ll say 7. Daughter says... 10!
Next is Aiden. What song will he turn into a Radiohead dirge this week? I wish the judges would stop telling him to smile and be 18 and have fun etc. He likes singing moody dirgey songs. His voice is different from any other contestant the X Factor has ever had. He’s started really well, singing ‘Nothing Compares to You.’ But it’s a boring song. Probably sang it as well as it could have been sung. Zzzzzzzzz though. Apparently they changed his song 24 hours before the show. OK, I’ll give it 8. Daughter says 9.
Paije did well last week, partly because of the Amy W. song. Louie wants to see the ‘fun, bubbly Paije’ tonight. Hmmmm. He starts with ‘I’m a Believer.’ Not just as Neil D/Monkees copy version, to be fair. He does look as if he’s having fun. He segues into oh... whatja call it... and would have been better to stick to ‘I’m a Believer’ all the way through. Louie says he’s a little Lenny Henry (?). Simon says there was an ‘Austin Powers vibe’, and meant it as a compliment. The judges loved it. I think they have rather over-estimated how good that was! I’d give it 6. Daughter says 8.
Rebecca, who has been consistently the best every week so far, now has to keep the momentum going. The song is emotional and she has been crying while singing it in rehearsal. It’s Bob Dylan’s ‘Make You Feel My Love’. Fantastic song, of course. Rebecca is singing it brilliantly so far. I even think Bob would approve of this one. Nothing else to say – just superb. Louie says she ‘stands out,’ which is an understatement. I’ll give her 10. No one is going to top that tonight. Daughter says 9. Not often I give a higher mark than her...
Wagner! His vocals were seriously off last week, far more so than in earlier weeks, as if they no longer meant anything compared to the ‘performance’. This week, even worse, on ‘Viva Las Vegas’ – all over the place and out of tune. Loads of dancing girls doing a kind of can can, and now suddenly into ‘The Wonder of You’ without warning. He wanders around the girls who smile at him mock-hero-worshipfully. Simon says he liked it. Perhaps he feels that by criticising it, he might encourage people to vote for Wagner. I wonder if his run has come to an end. That was surely just too bad. He has a cult following, we’re told, and they may phone enough times to keep him in. Maybe. I’ll say 4. Daughter says 6.
Matt, now. Not too good last week, but had seemed like one of the favourites before that. I predict he’ll be back up there this week. Here he goes. Lots of falsetto. Very clear, perfectly pitched vocal, switching from high to low and back again. A song to remind everyone he can sing. Very much in his comfort zone. Louie says he is the one everyone has to beat. I prefer Rebecca, but I can see that he is very good and with a great recording voice in the X-Factor-mould. Simon says, “This is the Matt and Rebecca show tonight.” Of course, his own act, One Direction, are still to come. I’ll say 9. Daughter says 10.
Treyc enjoyed herself last week, but I thought it was too similar to the original. She looked great though in her little red Santa hat. I think she can probably sing as well as anyone, but needs to take a risk or two to stand out. A Bon Jovi ballad isn’t exactly what I had in mind as a risk. That said, she’s singing it really well. Simon says she needs passion and belief that she can win. Treyc says she has it but needs to show it. Hmmmm. Dunno if any of that matters. She just needs to do her best and sing really well and make songs sound like she's given something unique to it, surely? I’ll give her 7. Daughter says 9.
Finally, it’s One Direction, the boy band. I find them irritating, but they are full of energy and appeal to teenage girls. Simon reckons they’re about to ‘stamp out the opposition’ this week. With Kim Wilde’s ‘Kids in America’? The usual energy, smiles, girls screaming from the audience. Yes, they’re doing well. They’ve cheered Cheryl up, apparently. Safe as houses this week, I reckon. I’ll say 7, although they probably deserve more. A grouch like me can’t go above 7 for them though. Daughter says 7 too.
Who’s in trouble this week? Hard to say. I’ll predict that Wagner or Mary could be up for the chop this week. The novelty acts running out of steam. Mind you, Treyc doesn’t stand out and might not attract voters, even though she sings well, and poor old Aiden sang a rotten song. But I’ll go for Wagner or Mary. Results tomorrow. Will this be my first wrong guess? I hope so – the pressure to get it right every week is beginning to get to me!
Missed Cher. Thought the show began at 8pm, but it was 7.45pm. The judges didn’t seem to like it, but what do they know?
Mary is next. She looks nervous and isn’t quite getting it right. Well, it’s getting better as the song goes on. But not all that good. She seems less comfortable. I think she has a musical career ahead of her and will never work in Tesco again, no worries there. Mary is tearful, despite fairly positive comments. I’ll give 5 out of 10. Daughter says 9.
Here comes Katie, so daughter will give her 10. She was in the bottom two last week. One commentator suggests that was because Katie can be ‘annoying’. I agree, to be honest. My wife says her styling might be putting people off, as it’s very harsh week by week. It’s a Madonna/Lady Ga Ga (interchangeable) wig this week with tight black leather suit. Looks fine. She sings well enough. Some negative comments from judges. Cheryl says yes she is a drama queen, but so what? I’ll say 7. Daughter says... 10!
Next is Aiden. What song will he turn into a Radiohead dirge this week? I wish the judges would stop telling him to smile and be 18 and have fun etc. He likes singing moody dirgey songs. His voice is different from any other contestant the X Factor has ever had. He’s started really well, singing ‘Nothing Compares to You.’ But it’s a boring song. Probably sang it as well as it could have been sung. Zzzzzzzzz though. Apparently they changed his song 24 hours before the show. OK, I’ll give it 8. Daughter says 9.
Paije did well last week, partly because of the Amy W. song. Louie wants to see the ‘fun, bubbly Paije’ tonight. Hmmmm. He starts with ‘I’m a Believer.’ Not just as Neil D/Monkees copy version, to be fair. He does look as if he’s having fun. He segues into oh... whatja call it... and would have been better to stick to ‘I’m a Believer’ all the way through. Louie says he’s a little Lenny Henry (?). Simon says there was an ‘Austin Powers vibe’, and meant it as a compliment. The judges loved it. I think they have rather over-estimated how good that was! I’d give it 6. Daughter says 8.
Rebecca, who has been consistently the best every week so far, now has to keep the momentum going. The song is emotional and she has been crying while singing it in rehearsal. It’s Bob Dylan’s ‘Make You Feel My Love’. Fantastic song, of course. Rebecca is singing it brilliantly so far. I even think Bob would approve of this one. Nothing else to say – just superb. Louie says she ‘stands out,’ which is an understatement. I’ll give her 10. No one is going to top that tonight. Daughter says 9. Not often I give a higher mark than her...
Wagner! His vocals were seriously off last week, far more so than in earlier weeks, as if they no longer meant anything compared to the ‘performance’. This week, even worse, on ‘Viva Las Vegas’ – all over the place and out of tune. Loads of dancing girls doing a kind of can can, and now suddenly into ‘The Wonder of You’ without warning. He wanders around the girls who smile at him mock-hero-worshipfully. Simon says he liked it. Perhaps he feels that by criticising it, he might encourage people to vote for Wagner. I wonder if his run has come to an end. That was surely just too bad. He has a cult following, we’re told, and they may phone enough times to keep him in. Maybe. I’ll say 4. Daughter says 6.
Matt, now. Not too good last week, but had seemed like one of the favourites before that. I predict he’ll be back up there this week. Here he goes. Lots of falsetto. Very clear, perfectly pitched vocal, switching from high to low and back again. A song to remind everyone he can sing. Very much in his comfort zone. Louie says he is the one everyone has to beat. I prefer Rebecca, but I can see that he is very good and with a great recording voice in the X-Factor-mould. Simon says, “This is the Matt and Rebecca show tonight.” Of course, his own act, One Direction, are still to come. I’ll say 9. Daughter says 10.
Treyc enjoyed herself last week, but I thought it was too similar to the original. She looked great though in her little red Santa hat. I think she can probably sing as well as anyone, but needs to take a risk or two to stand out. A Bon Jovi ballad isn’t exactly what I had in mind as a risk. That said, she’s singing it really well. Simon says she needs passion and belief that she can win. Treyc says she has it but needs to show it. Hmmmm. Dunno if any of that matters. She just needs to do her best and sing really well and make songs sound like she's given something unique to it, surely? I’ll give her 7. Daughter says 9.
Finally, it’s One Direction, the boy band. I find them irritating, but they are full of energy and appeal to teenage girls. Simon reckons they’re about to ‘stamp out the opposition’ this week. With Kim Wilde’s ‘Kids in America’? The usual energy, smiles, girls screaming from the audience. Yes, they’re doing well. They’ve cheered Cheryl up, apparently. Safe as houses this week, I reckon. I’ll say 7, although they probably deserve more. A grouch like me can’t go above 7 for them though. Daughter says 7 too.
Who’s in trouble this week? Hard to say. I’ll predict that Wagner or Mary could be up for the chop this week. The novelty acts running out of steam. Mind you, Treyc doesn’t stand out and might not attract voters, even though she sings well, and poor old Aiden sang a rotten song. But I’ll go for Wagner or Mary. Results tomorrow. Will this be my first wrong guess? I hope so – the pressure to get it right every week is beginning to get to me!
Saturday, October 30, 2010
The X Factor - Week 4: Live Blog
It’s week 4 and, after my internet-free holiday from last week, I’m back with the nation’s leading X-Factor commentary. Well, that’s arguable, I suppose. I'm blogging live and will update as I go along.
First up is Mary Byrne, complete with ridiculous devil horns for Halloween. She sings up-tempo Barry Manilow. The crowd loved it. Must say, I’m bored with her now. Zzzzzzzz. Anyway, she sings very well, of course. I’ll give her 6 out of 10. Daughter says 9. ‘She’s very good,’ she says. Aw...
Aidan Grimshaw is next – singing Michael Jackson’s ‘Thriller’, but in the style of Radiohead. A few weird notes – hard to know if it’s deliberate or not! Strange women in big black wigs wriggle around on stage. Just as intense as ever. Brave attempt to do such a song so differently. Cheryl wishes he would smile. Simon wanted him to smile and says it was bizarre. “Too much to the left,” he says. Ha! Can't have that now! Especially as it was as much to the left as..er...Radiohead, which is not really much to the left at all. I’ll give this 8. Daughter says 7.
Third are Belle Amie. They step out of coffins in white costumes and sing ‘I’m Your Venus’. Men in swimming trunks writhe about. The singing is like what you’d expect at a school show. This is so utterly pointless it’s not even worth writing about. Louie says ‘we need a bit of girl power on the X Factor.’ Huh? Danii points out the dodgy singing. I’ll give that 4. Daughter says 6. She is being a bit tougher on everyone this week, you’ll notice.
Ah, Rebecca is next. She has been genuinely terrific in previous weeks. Great enunciation. She’s singing that song, ‘I want to fall in love with you’ or whatever it’s called. Great again, really intense in just the right way. Fantastic key change towards the end. “You stand out from the crowd,” says Louie. Too right. I’ll give it 9. Daughter says 10. She is probably right.
After the break, we have Treyc, who came in the bottom two and had to participate in the sing-off last week. “Re-light the fire,” she sings, or perhaps prays desperately. Sounds like the original version and strangely dated. Energetic performance, fine singing, and a troop of acrobatic dancers leaping around. She really went for it, but doesn’t stand out. “Nothing original,” Simon says. He’s right, but there again, he was going on about Aidan being “too left” earlier on. I’ll say 6. Daughter says 7.
Matt has something to prove in that he really sang well last week. Can he keep up the standard? Well, he’s doing a Leona Lewis song, ‘Bleeding Love’, which is a totally bizarre idea. Pitting yourself against the X Factor's finest vocalist ever is a risky thing to do. It’s not much of a song and the only reason it normally sounds OK is because of the power of Leona’s vocals. Can he do it? Simon rolls his eyes and says, ‘Best of luck.’ Matt starts singing. Hmmmm. He is toiling. His falsetto bit was good, but the rest of it made him sound second-rate compared to Leona. Silly song choice. “An off-week” says Cheryl. More than that, I’d say. He’s not quite good enough. Rebecca could have sung that. I’ll give him 5. Daughter says 10!! She really liked it.
Here comes Wagner! We don’t need to bother about vocal perfection here. Will he be fun? Oh yes, he will. What is it - Ride of the Valkyries? It soon evolves into ‘Bat out of Hell’ in any case. Girls writhe around wearing not much. He goes out of time and out of tune and who cares? He is a performer, a charmer, an entertainer. “What in the hell was that?” says Simon. It was a laugh, that was what it was. I’ll say 7. Daughter says 5.
Now it’s Paige, who is another of those guys who sings OK, but doesn’t stand out. “At the moment I’m more interested in what he wears than in what he’s singing,” says Simon. Well, he’s wearing a red bow tie tonight and a suit and singing Amy Winehouse’s “Back to Black,” which is a fantastic song. He sings it adequately, that’s all I can say. Not a patch on Amy, but good. I’ll give him 7. Daughter says 7 too.
Katie now on stage. Daughter will give this 10, of course, as Katie is her favourite. I quite like her too. Tonight she’s singing from what looks like a Big Brother chair. She sings ‘Bewitched’. She jumps out of the chair. It’s fun, like a Marilyn Monroe up-tempo number. She waves her arms about and smiles. “Quirky,” seems to be the word the judges are using. Danii says her make-up is scary. It’s Halloween, Danii! Remember? I’ll say 7 again – that’s three in a row. Daughter says 10. Of course...
Now we have the boy band, One Direction. Change your name, guys – it’s terrible. Take my advice. Oh no!!! They’re singing Bonnie Tyler/Meatloaf – 'Total Eclipse of the Heart'. I hate the song. They have red make-up round their eyes – will Danii say it’s scary? Bet she doesn’t. The song suddenly speeds up and goes disco, then slows down again. Weird idea. Lots of screaming from the girls. Danii likes the scary make-up. OK for boys, you see (ironic cough). They have loads of energy and sing well. Not my thing though. Not that much in the X Factor really is, but some much less than others. I’ll give it 6. Daughter says 5.
Last song now – Cher Lloyd. She is a bit different. She is going to sing a ‘beautiful song’ tonight, rather than the usual rappy thing, apparently. It will go well, or she’ll fall flat on her face, says Simon. “Stay with Me” is the song. She sings it with quite a fragile voice, but with plenty of emotion, and in tune. Has she proved she can sing? Yes, she has, but we knew she could sing anyway surely? The song was a risk, but she pulled it off really well. Louie loves it – Cher is almost in tears. “The performance of the entire season,” says Simon. I’ll give that 9 as well. Daughter says 9.
So at the end of all that, who should go? Belle Amie or Paige, I reckon. Wagner has to go one of those weeks, of course, but I hope not yet. Plenty of voters won't like what Aidan did to 'Thriller', but I hope not enough to boot him out. Matt stumbled for the first time, but is probably safe. Best performances of the night were from Rebecca (again) and from Cher.
First up is Mary Byrne, complete with ridiculous devil horns for Halloween. She sings up-tempo Barry Manilow. The crowd loved it. Must say, I’m bored with her now. Zzzzzzzz. Anyway, she sings very well, of course. I’ll give her 6 out of 10. Daughter says 9. ‘She’s very good,’ she says. Aw...
Aidan Grimshaw is next – singing Michael Jackson’s ‘Thriller’, but in the style of Radiohead. A few weird notes – hard to know if it’s deliberate or not! Strange women in big black wigs wriggle around on stage. Just as intense as ever. Brave attempt to do such a song so differently. Cheryl wishes he would smile. Simon wanted him to smile and says it was bizarre. “Too much to the left,” he says. Ha! Can't have that now! Especially as it was as much to the left as..er...Radiohead, which is not really much to the left at all. I’ll give this 8. Daughter says 7.
Third are Belle Amie. They step out of coffins in white costumes and sing ‘I’m Your Venus’. Men in swimming trunks writhe about. The singing is like what you’d expect at a school show. This is so utterly pointless it’s not even worth writing about. Louie says ‘we need a bit of girl power on the X Factor.’ Huh? Danii points out the dodgy singing. I’ll give that 4. Daughter says 6. She is being a bit tougher on everyone this week, you’ll notice.
Ah, Rebecca is next. She has been genuinely terrific in previous weeks. Great enunciation. She’s singing that song, ‘I want to fall in love with you’ or whatever it’s called. Great again, really intense in just the right way. Fantastic key change towards the end. “You stand out from the crowd,” says Louie. Too right. I’ll give it 9. Daughter says 10. She is probably right.
After the break, we have Treyc, who came in the bottom two and had to participate in the sing-off last week. “Re-light the fire,” she sings, or perhaps prays desperately. Sounds like the original version and strangely dated. Energetic performance, fine singing, and a troop of acrobatic dancers leaping around. She really went for it, but doesn’t stand out. “Nothing original,” Simon says. He’s right, but there again, he was going on about Aidan being “too left” earlier on. I’ll say 6. Daughter says 7.
Matt has something to prove in that he really sang well last week. Can he keep up the standard? Well, he’s doing a Leona Lewis song, ‘Bleeding Love’, which is a totally bizarre idea. Pitting yourself against the X Factor's finest vocalist ever is a risky thing to do. It’s not much of a song and the only reason it normally sounds OK is because of the power of Leona’s vocals. Can he do it? Simon rolls his eyes and says, ‘Best of luck.’ Matt starts singing. Hmmmm. He is toiling. His falsetto bit was good, but the rest of it made him sound second-rate compared to Leona. Silly song choice. “An off-week” says Cheryl. More than that, I’d say. He’s not quite good enough. Rebecca could have sung that. I’ll give him 5. Daughter says 10!! She really liked it.
Here comes Wagner! We don’t need to bother about vocal perfection here. Will he be fun? Oh yes, he will. What is it - Ride of the Valkyries? It soon evolves into ‘Bat out of Hell’ in any case. Girls writhe around wearing not much. He goes out of time and out of tune and who cares? He is a performer, a charmer, an entertainer. “What in the hell was that?” says Simon. It was a laugh, that was what it was. I’ll say 7. Daughter says 5.
Now it’s Paige, who is another of those guys who sings OK, but doesn’t stand out. “At the moment I’m more interested in what he wears than in what he’s singing,” says Simon. Well, he’s wearing a red bow tie tonight and a suit and singing Amy Winehouse’s “Back to Black,” which is a fantastic song. He sings it adequately, that’s all I can say. Not a patch on Amy, but good. I’ll give him 7. Daughter says 7 too.
Katie now on stage. Daughter will give this 10, of course, as Katie is her favourite. I quite like her too. Tonight she’s singing from what looks like a Big Brother chair. She sings ‘Bewitched’. She jumps out of the chair. It’s fun, like a Marilyn Monroe up-tempo number. She waves her arms about and smiles. “Quirky,” seems to be the word the judges are using. Danii says her make-up is scary. It’s Halloween, Danii! Remember? I’ll say 7 again – that’s three in a row. Daughter says 10. Of course...
Now we have the boy band, One Direction. Change your name, guys – it’s terrible. Take my advice. Oh no!!! They’re singing Bonnie Tyler/Meatloaf – 'Total Eclipse of the Heart'. I hate the song. They have red make-up round their eyes – will Danii say it’s scary? Bet she doesn’t. The song suddenly speeds up and goes disco, then slows down again. Weird idea. Lots of screaming from the girls. Danii likes the scary make-up. OK for boys, you see (ironic cough). They have loads of energy and sing well. Not my thing though. Not that much in the X Factor really is, but some much less than others. I’ll give it 6. Daughter says 5.
Last song now – Cher Lloyd. She is a bit different. She is going to sing a ‘beautiful song’ tonight, rather than the usual rappy thing, apparently. It will go well, or she’ll fall flat on her face, says Simon. “Stay with Me” is the song. She sings it with quite a fragile voice, but with plenty of emotion, and in tune. Has she proved she can sing? Yes, she has, but we knew she could sing anyway surely? The song was a risk, but she pulled it off really well. Louie loves it – Cher is almost in tears. “The performance of the entire season,” says Simon. I’ll give that 9 as well. Daughter says 9.
So at the end of all that, who should go? Belle Amie or Paige, I reckon. Wagner has to go one of those weeks, of course, but I hope not yet. Plenty of voters won't like what Aidan did to 'Thriller', but I hope not enough to boot him out. Matt stumbled for the first time, but is probably safe. Best performances of the night were from Rebecca (again) and from Cher.
Saturday, October 16, 2010
The X Factor - 15 October 2010
I’ve decided to blog the X Factor live as it happens. I’ll update this post during the ads.
First up, Storm Lee, whom Simon Cowell last week described as a ‘failed rockstar’. He’s singing ‘Born to Run’ and sounds like a thin papercut of Springsteen. Awful song choice, badly performed, and the dancers and lights make it even more parodic. Cheryl Cole is booed for criticising him, but she’s right.
Marks out of ten – 3. My eight-year-old daughter gives it 9.
Treyc Cohen is up next, singing ‘Purple Rain’, a song I can’t stand. The audience are swaying away to it. Here come the vocal histrionics, which the song was built for. Yes, she can sing, I think I’ve got the idea. Bet the judges love it. Yes, they do! All of them!
I’ll look past the song as far as I can and give her 6. My daughter says 10.
Now, here’s Paige Richardson, who killed ‘Killing Me Softly’ last week. I’ve never been able to listen to that song without cringing since the ‘About the Boy’ movie. This week, it’s... oh what’s it called?... Apparently he has problems with his breathing, so they’ve given him a song where he can take lots of breaths between phrases. Crafty. He sang it OK though. I’ll give him 6 too. Daughter says 8. She is more generous than me...
The first group now take the stage, One Direction. To state the obvious, that’s not a good name for a group. This is bouncy pop stuff of a kind I never listen to, but they are making a good job of it. So young though and they look to have an average age of about 12. Was it a Kelly Clarkson song? Louis mentioned her. I wouldn’t know. Cheryl wants to “hug them in a nice way.” Simon says they are “the most exciting pop band in the country today.” He can’t be serious. There are plenty of groups playing in bars up and down the country tonight who will have more ideas and originality. But I’ll still give them 8 for the energy. Daughter says 10. I had a feeling she would like that one!
Cher Lloyd is this year's kooky contestant, the kind of person you don’t want to see moulded too much, so I hope she doesn’t get to the final. It is quite strange too. ‘It’s a hard enough life for us,’ she sings over beats and then raps in a curiously American accent. Odd dancing too, stamping about. Simon says, ‘I’ve seen the future here.’ Strange thing to say about a cover version, but she does seem fun. I’ll give her 8. Daughter says 9.
John Adeleye says he has to watch not to get too emotional in case he can’t finish the song. It’s a ballad. He’s a decent singer, but there’s nothing distinctive about him. Same with the song, could be anything. What is it? George Michael or something? I never know those things, unless I'm hearing a track John Peel played once on his radio show sometime in 1983. I might remember who played that one! Talented, of course, and he seems like a nice guy, but also forgettable. Better than Storm Lee though. I’ll give it 6. Daughter says 10! Shows how much I know...
Now we have Diva Fever. This is camp gay disco fun. A hilarious start – lots of men in swimming trunks and arms waving all over the place as a form of dancing. Barbara Streisland and Judy Garland are both referenced during the song. They made Louis smile. I’ll give it 8 as it was entertaining, and I'll award 10 to the choreographer. Daughter says 9.
Rebecca Ferguson next. She was one of the best last week, I thought. She is shy and the choreographer wants her to hoist her shoulders back and sing with confidence. Can she do it? Oh, it’s the Nina Simone classic, Feeling Good’. Now there is a song I like. She has a great voice, no doubt about that. Effortless, it seems. Danii M made a good point (amazing, I know) that she didn’t go over the top and try too hard. She doesn’t need to. I’ll give her 9. I’d give 10, but just in case someone does better... Daughter says 9 too.
Aiden Grimshaw is going to sing John Lennon. Hmmm. Depends what... He was really good last week too, so he has something to live up to. It’s ‘Jealous Guy’. It’s an intense, edgy performance, different from an average X Factor singer. But he muffed some notes, especially a big high note. Lacked the warmth of John Lennon somehow too. Louis liked it. Cheryl says it’s a shaky performance and is booed again (wasn’t she the UK's darling last year? How fickle is this country's obsession with celebrity!). Simon agrees with Cheryl. They are right. Aiden knows he’s messed it up, it’s all over his face. But he deserves to stay in, I think, as he has something. I couldn’t give that performance any more than 5 though. Daughter says 5 as well. She has suddenly become a tough customer.
Wagner is here! A born entertainer. Lots of fun. I'd never dream of buying a record by him though and can't imagine why anyone would. It's all in the live performance. A TV and stage career beckons. I'd say 7, daughter says 10!! She had her build-a-bear dancing to it, which might have influenced her appreciation.
Now it's Katie Waissel, my daughter's favourite. The judges want to see more of her personality and didn't like the fabricated image of last week. She looks like a typical X Factor hopeful this week! Oh dear... She sings the song adequately though and should get through. I'd say 6, daughter says 10 of course. She'd give her 11 if she could.
Another group now, Belle Amie. I keep thinking of the late TV botanist David Bellamy when I hear their name. Thoughts of the bearded one don't go with their image at all. It's most distracting. Go away, David! There is a Man City football player Bellamy, isn't there? On loan somewhere this year. A guy with loads of tattoos. Doesn't mix well with the girl group either. And they’re singing The Kinks! ‘You really got me’. Ouch. I really hate this. That’s what comes of hearing a song by one of my favourite bands ‘girl grouped’ with dancers and silly smoke and pained expressions. But Louis likes it. In fact all the judges like it. They are nuts. I’d give this 4. Daughter says 8.
Mary Byrne is next. A 52-year-old Tesco worker. Or ex-Tesco, we can confidently say now. She got rapturous applause last week. She will do great in musicals and I’m sure people will buy her music too, however far she gets in the competition. She is a fantastic singer. Not my kind of thing, but there again not much in the X Factor really is. The entertainment isn't so much in the music as in the competition itself. She sang well again, just as we all knew she would. Rapturous applause again. It’s the Susan Boyle effect. People can’t believe that someone over 30 who doesn’t have a a plastic face and a stick-figure can sing on TV. Weird. Cheryl “respects her as a woman”. Simon says “it’s just right that someone like you should be in the competition.” They must be having a competition to see who can be more patronising. I’d say 8. Daughter says 10.
Closing the show is Matt Cardle. He’s come over to me so far as a good singer, but nothing special. He has a falsetto, which is fun. He has also played in bands for most of his life, so he’s not new to performing. He’s singing very well tonight, and it’s not an easy song to sing either. I don’t care for the gasping between notes. Represents ‘emotion’, I guess. He hit the high notes perfectly. I’d say 7 for that. Daughter says 8.
So that's it all over - results tomorrow. I'd say Storm should be deleted, without a doubt. If I was a voting man, which I'm not, I'd cast mine for Rebecca.
First up, Storm Lee, whom Simon Cowell last week described as a ‘failed rockstar’. He’s singing ‘Born to Run’ and sounds like a thin papercut of Springsteen. Awful song choice, badly performed, and the dancers and lights make it even more parodic. Cheryl Cole is booed for criticising him, but she’s right.
Marks out of ten – 3. My eight-year-old daughter gives it 9.
Treyc Cohen is up next, singing ‘Purple Rain’, a song I can’t stand. The audience are swaying away to it. Here come the vocal histrionics, which the song was built for. Yes, she can sing, I think I’ve got the idea. Bet the judges love it. Yes, they do! All of them!
I’ll look past the song as far as I can and give her 6. My daughter says 10.
Now, here’s Paige Richardson, who killed ‘Killing Me Softly’ last week. I’ve never been able to listen to that song without cringing since the ‘About the Boy’ movie. This week, it’s... oh what’s it called?... Apparently he has problems with his breathing, so they’ve given him a song where he can take lots of breaths between phrases. Crafty. He sang it OK though. I’ll give him 6 too. Daughter says 8. She is more generous than me...
The first group now take the stage, One Direction. To state the obvious, that’s not a good name for a group. This is bouncy pop stuff of a kind I never listen to, but they are making a good job of it. So young though and they look to have an average age of about 12. Was it a Kelly Clarkson song? Louis mentioned her. I wouldn’t know. Cheryl wants to “hug them in a nice way.” Simon says they are “the most exciting pop band in the country today.” He can’t be serious. There are plenty of groups playing in bars up and down the country tonight who will have more ideas and originality. But I’ll still give them 8 for the energy. Daughter says 10. I had a feeling she would like that one!
Cher Lloyd is this year's kooky contestant, the kind of person you don’t want to see moulded too much, so I hope she doesn’t get to the final. It is quite strange too. ‘It’s a hard enough life for us,’ she sings over beats and then raps in a curiously American accent. Odd dancing too, stamping about. Simon says, ‘I’ve seen the future here.’ Strange thing to say about a cover version, but she does seem fun. I’ll give her 8. Daughter says 9.
John Adeleye says he has to watch not to get too emotional in case he can’t finish the song. It’s a ballad. He’s a decent singer, but there’s nothing distinctive about him. Same with the song, could be anything. What is it? George Michael or something? I never know those things, unless I'm hearing a track John Peel played once on his radio show sometime in 1983. I might remember who played that one! Talented, of course, and he seems like a nice guy, but also forgettable. Better than Storm Lee though. I’ll give it 6. Daughter says 10! Shows how much I know...
Now we have Diva Fever. This is camp gay disco fun. A hilarious start – lots of men in swimming trunks and arms waving all over the place as a form of dancing. Barbara Streisland and Judy Garland are both referenced during the song. They made Louis smile. I’ll give it 8 as it was entertaining, and I'll award 10 to the choreographer. Daughter says 9.
Rebecca Ferguson next. She was one of the best last week, I thought. She is shy and the choreographer wants her to hoist her shoulders back and sing with confidence. Can she do it? Oh, it’s the Nina Simone classic, Feeling Good’. Now there is a song I like. She has a great voice, no doubt about that. Effortless, it seems. Danii M made a good point (amazing, I know) that she didn’t go over the top and try too hard. She doesn’t need to. I’ll give her 9. I’d give 10, but just in case someone does better... Daughter says 9 too.
Aiden Grimshaw is going to sing John Lennon. Hmmm. Depends what... He was really good last week too, so he has something to live up to. It’s ‘Jealous Guy’. It’s an intense, edgy performance, different from an average X Factor singer. But he muffed some notes, especially a big high note. Lacked the warmth of John Lennon somehow too. Louis liked it. Cheryl says it’s a shaky performance and is booed again (wasn’t she the UK's darling last year? How fickle is this country's obsession with celebrity!). Simon agrees with Cheryl. They are right. Aiden knows he’s messed it up, it’s all over his face. But he deserves to stay in, I think, as he has something. I couldn’t give that performance any more than 5 though. Daughter says 5 as well. She has suddenly become a tough customer.
Wagner is here! A born entertainer. Lots of fun. I'd never dream of buying a record by him though and can't imagine why anyone would. It's all in the live performance. A TV and stage career beckons. I'd say 7, daughter says 10!! She had her build-a-bear dancing to it, which might have influenced her appreciation.
Now it's Katie Waissel, my daughter's favourite. The judges want to see more of her personality and didn't like the fabricated image of last week. She looks like a typical X Factor hopeful this week! Oh dear... She sings the song adequately though and should get through. I'd say 6, daughter says 10 of course. She'd give her 11 if she could.
Another group now, Belle Amie. I keep thinking of the late TV botanist David Bellamy when I hear their name. Thoughts of the bearded one don't go with their image at all. It's most distracting. Go away, David! There is a Man City football player Bellamy, isn't there? On loan somewhere this year. A guy with loads of tattoos. Doesn't mix well with the girl group either. And they’re singing The Kinks! ‘You really got me’. Ouch. I really hate this. That’s what comes of hearing a song by one of my favourite bands ‘girl grouped’ with dancers and silly smoke and pained expressions. But Louis likes it. In fact all the judges like it. They are nuts. I’d give this 4. Daughter says 8.
Mary Byrne is next. A 52-year-old Tesco worker. Or ex-Tesco, we can confidently say now. She got rapturous applause last week. She will do great in musicals and I’m sure people will buy her music too, however far she gets in the competition. She is a fantastic singer. Not my kind of thing, but there again not much in the X Factor really is. The entertainment isn't so much in the music as in the competition itself. She sang well again, just as we all knew she would. Rapturous applause again. It’s the Susan Boyle effect. People can’t believe that someone over 30 who doesn’t have a a plastic face and a stick-figure can sing on TV. Weird. Cheryl “respects her as a woman”. Simon says “it’s just right that someone like you should be in the competition.” They must be having a competition to see who can be more patronising. I’d say 8. Daughter says 10.
Closing the show is Matt Cardle. He’s come over to me so far as a good singer, but nothing special. He has a falsetto, which is fun. He has also played in bands for most of his life, so he’s not new to performing. He’s singing very well tonight, and it’s not an easy song to sing either. I don’t care for the gasping between notes. Represents ‘emotion’, I guess. He hit the high notes perfectly. I’d say 7 for that. Daughter says 8.
So that's it all over - results tomorrow. I'd say Storm should be deleted, without a doubt. If I was a voting man, which I'm not, I'd cast mine for Rebecca.
Saturday, December 13, 2008
X Factor 2008 - The Winner Is...
Alexandra! And very well deserved too.
I don't know how she got through her reprise of Hallelujah. She was so emotional and could hardly speak. Her vocals disappeared at the end of verse 1, but she got it back and held it together - more or less. It was very moving to watch.
That open emotion is great in so many ways, but I get the feeling that she is a very nice and also a very vulnerable young woman. I hope people look after her well. She demonstrated tonight that she has the ability to move an audience deeply with her voice. That's what marked her out from the other contestants throughout the series, but especially in the final.
I'm honestly still reeling from her first performance of Hallelujah - it was just staggering. I am a big Leonard Cohen fan. He is one of my favourite songwriter/performers and I think Alexandra did him proud tonight.
And here it is:
I was a bit concerned that it might not sound so good this morning, after all the excitement had died down, but no, it's really good stuff.
And for good measure, here's her performance with Beyoncé:
I don't know how she got through her reprise of Hallelujah. She was so emotional and could hardly speak. Her vocals disappeared at the end of verse 1, but she got it back and held it together - more or less. It was very moving to watch.
That open emotion is great in so many ways, but I get the feeling that she is a very nice and also a very vulnerable young woman. I hope people look after her well. She demonstrated tonight that she has the ability to move an audience deeply with her voice. That's what marked her out from the other contestants throughout the series, but especially in the final.
I'm honestly still reeling from her first performance of Hallelujah - it was just staggering. I am a big Leonard Cohen fan. He is one of my favourite songwriter/performers and I think Alexandra did him proud tonight.
And here it is:
I was a bit concerned that it might not sound so good this morning, after all the excitement had died down, but no, it's really good stuff.
And for good measure, here's her performance with Beyoncé:
X Factor Final 2008 - As It Happens
OK, I'll keep updating my thoughts on the Final, as it happens, during commercial breaks. It's just about to start. I'll go for Alexandra to win - she's not brilliant but she's easily the best. I've a feeling JLS might win, which would be unfortunate, as they are very ordinary. Eoghan is hopeless but a combination of the granny vote and the 'High School Musical' vote might hand it to him - that would be a travesty.
**That's the first round over - three Christmas songs. Eoghan sleepwalked his way through 'I Wish it Could Be Christmas Everyday'. JLS sang a fairly tight version of 'Last Christmas'. Alexandra hit the emotional centre with 'Silent Night'. On those performances, Alexandra is just ahead of JLS with Eoghan a poor third. All that talk of fame, adulation and being superstars is worrying though - is that the main reason they want to win? Or does it mean much more than that to them?
**Second round: duets - Eoghan sang with Boyzone and suffered by comparison. Unfortunately Boyzone, despite being a typical boyband, can actually sing. JLS sang with Westlife and, to my ear, sang better than their famous counterparts. Golden rule: in the duets round, alaways pick a band you can outshine. If Alexandra is about to sing with Beyoncé, she's going to have to be very good... Well, she was good, but Beyoncé sang much too well! She did Alexandra no favours there, I'm afraid - unless people vote for someone because they like the co-star. Maybe. Alexandra got very, very emotional, which might pick up votes. Having said all this, she sang very well. However, Beyoncé was something else - she certainly has the 'X Factor'! I still think Alexandra ought to be miles ahead.
**Third round: personal choice - Eoghan sang a High School Musical song. Shrewd choice, of course, and will pick up votes. But he doesn't deserve to. His voice has no energy or passion, which is why they have to fill the stage with dancers every time he sings. Surely Eoghan must go. JLS sang a boyband song (can't even remember which one - Take That?). It was OK. Tight, but ordinary. Alexandra sang a ballad and again cranked up the emotion to just the right degree.
**Really, Alexandra is way out in front. She won every round. Eoghan flopped every round. JLS seemed OK. I predict a final two of Alexandra and JLS. It goes without saying that Alexandra will do a much better version of Hallelujah than JLS. So a foregone conclusion? Not really. After all, the UK public vote the winner. It could go any way. There's an hour's intermission and then we're back.
**What happened to the adverts?! Anyway, a lot has happened. Eoghan got voted out and was gracious in defeat, to his credit. Then both JLS and Alexandra performed Leonard Cohen's Hallelujah. In my opinion, to sing that song successfully, you need either Cohen's gravitas or Jeff Buckley's passion. JLS's vocal performance was adequate, but they lacked both those qualities. They were a boyband trying to sing an adult song. I thought Alexandra would sing this well but, I have to admit, she way surpassed my expectations. It was stunning! Really astonishing version. Gravitas and passion in abundance. She sang it as if she was inhabiting the song. She must win after that. If she doesn't, there's something seriously wrong.
**About five minutes from the announcement of the winner now. Can you feel the tension? Before the show began, I wanted Alexandra to win. After her performance of Hallelujah, I need her to win.
**And she did win. It was a storming finish too. My commentary on this year’s X Factor continues and ends in a new post (including two of Alexandra's best performances). It’s been fun.
**That's the first round over - three Christmas songs. Eoghan sleepwalked his way through 'I Wish it Could Be Christmas Everyday'. JLS sang a fairly tight version of 'Last Christmas'. Alexandra hit the emotional centre with 'Silent Night'. On those performances, Alexandra is just ahead of JLS with Eoghan a poor third. All that talk of fame, adulation and being superstars is worrying though - is that the main reason they want to win? Or does it mean much more than that to them?
**Second round: duets - Eoghan sang with Boyzone and suffered by comparison. Unfortunately Boyzone, despite being a typical boyband, can actually sing. JLS sang with Westlife and, to my ear, sang better than their famous counterparts. Golden rule: in the duets round, alaways pick a band you can outshine. If Alexandra is about to sing with Beyoncé, she's going to have to be very good... Well, she was good, but Beyoncé sang much too well! She did Alexandra no favours there, I'm afraid - unless people vote for someone because they like the co-star. Maybe. Alexandra got very, very emotional, which might pick up votes. Having said all this, she sang very well. However, Beyoncé was something else - she certainly has the 'X Factor'! I still think Alexandra ought to be miles ahead.
**Third round: personal choice - Eoghan sang a High School Musical song. Shrewd choice, of course, and will pick up votes. But he doesn't deserve to. His voice has no energy or passion, which is why they have to fill the stage with dancers every time he sings. Surely Eoghan must go. JLS sang a boyband song (can't even remember which one - Take That?). It was OK. Tight, but ordinary. Alexandra sang a ballad and again cranked up the emotion to just the right degree.
**Really, Alexandra is way out in front. She won every round. Eoghan flopped every round. JLS seemed OK. I predict a final two of Alexandra and JLS. It goes without saying that Alexandra will do a much better version of Hallelujah than JLS. So a foregone conclusion? Not really. After all, the UK public vote the winner. It could go any way. There's an hour's intermission and then we're back.
**What happened to the adverts?! Anyway, a lot has happened. Eoghan got voted out and was gracious in defeat, to his credit. Then both JLS and Alexandra performed Leonard Cohen's Hallelujah. In my opinion, to sing that song successfully, you need either Cohen's gravitas or Jeff Buckley's passion. JLS's vocal performance was adequate, but they lacked both those qualities. They were a boyband trying to sing an adult song. I thought Alexandra would sing this well but, I have to admit, she way surpassed my expectations. It was stunning! Really astonishing version. Gravitas and passion in abundance. She sang it as if she was inhabiting the song. She must win after that. If she doesn't, there's something seriously wrong.
**About five minutes from the announcement of the winner now. Can you feel the tension? Before the show began, I wanted Alexandra to win. After her performance of Hallelujah, I need her to win.
**And she did win. It was a storming finish too. My commentary on this year’s X Factor continues and ends in a new post (including two of Alexandra's best performances). It’s been fun.
Friday, December 12, 2008
Who Will Win The X-Factor 2008?
Tomorrow is the X-Factor final. Who will win? I think it’s between JLS and Alexandra.
(***See my live commentary on the X-Factor Final here, as it happens.***)
I don’t much like JLS. They are a tedious singing group and nothing stands out with them. Their main singer has a decent voice but, beyond that, they make me shrug. See for yourselves:
Then there’s Alexandra, by miles the best singer in the competition. However, what she does isn’t really all that interesting. She is too often risk-free. When she lets herself go, she can turn it up a notch, but she doesn't always do that. As you can also see:
The third contestant is Eoghan. I can’t bring myself to actually include one of his videos on this blog, but here’s a link to one if you’re feeling particularly masochistic. He might win with the ‘granny vote’, I suppose. That must be a significant vote on this show.
I reckon that the X-Factor struck gold with Leona Lewis a couple of years ago, but it's never got anyone as good as her before or since. The show has run into a cul-de-sac, the way anything does when it peaks too early. No rearrangement of judges or presenters is going to do the trick. Maybe they need a new approach – an indie X-Factor or singer-songwriter X-Factor. A poetry X-Factor?? Maybe then they’d find something to really wake me up again.
My vote would be with Alexandra if I could be bothered picking up the phone. The usual annual running live commentary will take place on this blog tomorrow evening…
(***See my live commentary on the X-Factor Final here, as it happens.***)
I don’t much like JLS. They are a tedious singing group and nothing stands out with them. Their main singer has a decent voice but, beyond that, they make me shrug. See for yourselves:
Then there’s Alexandra, by miles the best singer in the competition. However, what she does isn’t really all that interesting. She is too often risk-free. When she lets herself go, she can turn it up a notch, but she doesn't always do that. As you can also see:
The third contestant is Eoghan. I can’t bring myself to actually include one of his videos on this blog, but here’s a link to one if you’re feeling particularly masochistic. He might win with the ‘granny vote’, I suppose. That must be a significant vote on this show.
I reckon that the X-Factor struck gold with Leona Lewis a couple of years ago, but it's never got anyone as good as her before or since. The show has run into a cul-de-sac, the way anything does when it peaks too early. No rearrangement of judges or presenters is going to do the trick. Maybe they need a new approach – an indie X-Factor or singer-songwriter X-Factor. A poetry X-Factor?? Maybe then they’d find something to really wake me up again.
My vote would be with Alexandra if I could be bothered picking up the phone. The usual annual running live commentary will take place on this blog tomorrow evening…
Sunday, November 30, 2008
X-Factor 2008: There Goes Ruth Lorenzo
I have little to say about the X-Factor last night, mainly because I missed the live show. I had an event I needed to be at. However, I was back in time for the results. My wife told me that Alexandra had been by far the best – yet again – and that JLS had performed better than usual. I guessed that Ruth Lorenzo was doomed and so it proved.
Ruth sang very well in her final song, Always, after being ejected, perhaps enough to make the judges wonder whether the public might have done them a favour and booted out the passengers, Eoghan or JLS, instead. She made the error of saying what they all say, “This is not the end for me. It’s just the beginning.” Hmmmm, I think it’s more probably the end, as it has been for so many.
Just to add, I saw the much-hyped Britney Spears appearance on the results show. She mimed her new single, which, incidentally, is crap. So how come Britney, the supposed 'expert', mimes, and the X-Factor wannabees have to sing her songs live?! Clearly, she is unable to pull it off, but isn't it disturbing that the crowd gave her a huge cheer anyway?
This year is surely a two-horse race between Alexandra and Diana. I hope for Alexandra because I find Diana positively annoying.
Ruth sang very well in her final song, Always, after being ejected, perhaps enough to make the judges wonder whether the public might have done them a favour and booted out the passengers, Eoghan or JLS, instead. She made the error of saying what they all say, “This is not the end for me. It’s just the beginning.” Hmmmm, I think it’s more probably the end, as it has been for so many.
Just to add, I saw the much-hyped Britney Spears appearance on the results show. She mimed her new single, which, incidentally, is crap. So how come Britney, the supposed 'expert', mimes, and the X-Factor wannabees have to sing her songs live?! Clearly, she is unable to pull it off, but isn't it disturbing that the crowd gave her a huge cheer anyway?
This year is surely a two-horse race between Alexandra and Diana. I hope for Alexandra because I find Diana positively annoying.
Monday, November 24, 2008
X Factor 2008 - Hallelujah
I’ve managed to avoid mentioning The X Factor this year so far but now that we’re getting near the final, I thought I’d say a few words. Alexandra is the best by far, although nowhere near Leona two years ago – that about sums up this year’s series.
It’s reported that the other contestants are unhappy because the song chosen for the winner’s single release will be Leonard Cohen’s Hallelujah. They’re not unhappy with this song but because one contestant, Diana Vickers (people keep saying she is original – to me she sounds like Dolores from the Cranberries), sang it at bootcamp to qualify for the show.
On the evidence of that performance, Alexandra and the rest have nothing to be worried about. Horrible!
Compare it to this rendering by Leonard himself - altogether more believable. Add in this one by K.D. Lang, a more understated Damien Rice, and several more versions from a blog post I made last year (not all the links there still work, but you can find the song by all those people at YouTube), and you can see how Diana suffers in comparison (at least, I hope you can).
The X-Factor, the very fact that Diana is taken seriously as a ‘great talent’, really makes a mockery of all that’s vital in music. The show still works as entertainment, of course.
It’s reported that the other contestants are unhappy because the song chosen for the winner’s single release will be Leonard Cohen’s Hallelujah. They’re not unhappy with this song but because one contestant, Diana Vickers (people keep saying she is original – to me she sounds like Dolores from the Cranberries), sang it at bootcamp to qualify for the show.
On the evidence of that performance, Alexandra and the rest have nothing to be worried about. Horrible!
Compare it to this rendering by Leonard himself - altogether more believable. Add in this one by K.D. Lang, a more understated Damien Rice, and several more versions from a blog post I made last year (not all the links there still work, but you can find the song by all those people at YouTube), and you can see how Diana suffers in comparison (at least, I hope you can).
The X-Factor, the very fact that Diana is taken seriously as a ‘great talent’, really makes a mockery of all that’s vital in music. The show still works as entertainment, of course.
Saturday, December 15, 2007
The X Factor Final 2007 - Part 5
Well, you wouldn’t take a tip off me, would you? I’ve at least been consistent in getting it wrong all evening. Leon won! I must admit, I am as stunned at that result as
Anyway, I guess it's now back to business as usual - poetry, criticism etc - all that stuff I've left behind for one evening.
The X Factor Final 2007 - Part 4
Yes, Rhydian sang it exactly as I knew he would. It’s anybody’s game. The lines are closed, the votes have been cast. In five minutes, it’ll all be over.
The X Factor Final 2007 - Part 3
Huh! What a useless pundit I am. Same Difference are out of the competition in third place. So it’s between
The X Factor Final 2007 - Part 2
OK, all three finalists have sung their hearts out, and here’s how I see it, round by round. I’ll try to put aside my prejudices and be as objective as I can:
1. The Christmas Songs
Second would be
Same Difference were energetic but shrill.
I suspect that most people would give it to Leon and Kylie. I would too if it was Kylie I was voting for. I don’t really like Kylie much, but she has star quality and she showed it. Without her,
If you wanted proof of why classical vocalists singing pop songs is nearly always a terrible idea, you don’t need to look any further than Rhydian and Katherine Jenkins demolishing You Raise Me Up. It was awful. And it reminded me of how important it is that Rhydian doesn’t win tonight.
3. Performers’ Choice
Same Difference did a great job with the High School Musical song. They jumped off desks and did a kind of scissors-kick in unison on the way down, which was a great piece of television. They had trendy child-dancers. I think they shaded this round, given that their fan base will vote from their mobiles in huge numbers.
b) buy his album for Andy Jackson, as I foolishly promised I would after a previous post – if he wins.
The results show begins in about ten minutes. Please don’t win, Rhydian.
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