Sunday, April 01, 2012

Cameron and the Donkey

Prime Minister, David Cameron, today seems to have found himself embroiled in yet more unwanted controversy. Following shock claims that Cameron may have unwittingly ridden a journalist’s horse, the British Humanist Society claimed that the animal had not been a horse at all and that Cameron had in fact been attempting to re-enact Jesus’ entry into a palm-waving Jerusalem by riding a donkey through a field in rural Surrey.

Although Cameron initially denied the claim, paparazzi from a British tabloid produced photographic evidence of the donkey (below).

It’s also been alleged that the Prime Minister has changed his name by deed poll to David Jesus Cameron and many witnesses have come forward to attest to miracles – five people were fed by 60 percent of the country’s produce while, amazingly, 60 million people had to be content with a seven year-old schoolgirl’s packed lunch. But sightings of Cameron entering a cafe on the donkey and devouring a pasty turned out to be Queen's Park Rangers striker, DJ Campbell - an easy mistake to make.

The humanists have demanded an explanation. Ed Miliband muttered something indistinct into the distance. And Michael Gove blamed words for putting daft ideas into people’s heads. “The sooner we follow South Africa’s lead and leave the European Community the better,” he said. “There are no donkeys outside the EU and no books about them either.” The donkey, said to be unharmed by the incident, pointed out that South Africa was nowhere near Europe ("the clue is in the 'Africa'", he brayed), but no one listens to a donkey.